MY MICROCOSM

Thank You 2011, Welcome 2012

2012-01-01T23:01:00.000+08:00

I haven't entered anything in this blog for a very long long time. A lot of things happened in my life last year, some were good, some were bad, and the rest were in between, that the roller coaster ride I had last 2011 made me dizzy though in a great way 'cause it molded me into a better man. I am thankful that another chapter of my life had been revealed and I think I played my part well. He he he... Anyway, since it's a brand new year, I guess I have to write something here to express my overwhelming gratitude for all the blessings and joys I had received last year and like wise for all the trials and pains that had made tough and resilient both in heart and in spirit. I am sure that 2012 would be an another exciting year for me. I can't wait for all the dramas and the funny moments, for all the twists and shocking revelations, and for all the endings and new beginnings that will about to unfold this year. I said that I played my part well last 2011, this 2012 though I'll put more passion to it. I will win life's "Oscar" for life is nothing but a movie with no cameras and no retakes.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Neighbors From Hell

2010-11-06T04:23:00.003+08:00

Mark, Toto, Jun-Jun, Inday and Marimar reside in a house next to us. I don't want to call them as neighbors since we are not close. Fact is, I detest them with every inch of my soul. I must admit that they all look cute that you just can't help but adore them upon first glance. But then, I am quite sure that you will have a change of heart later. Why? Because they have this behavior that upon seeing any human being at close range they will all launch at you like some hungry monsters drooling with saliva and ready to bite you if they find it fancy enough. Not only that, the noise they make at night will surely force you to wake up, kneel beside your bed and pray for their total annihilation. I must say that they are the abominations in our block.

There was a time that I would really like to confront them and tell them that they are barbaric, uncivilized, mean and a public disturbance. That they should change their ways and behave like decent beings. But how in the hell will you confront dogs? Tell me. Even their owner is having a hard time telling them.

I Started A Joke

2010-10-14T09:28:00.008+08:00

A former classmate of mine posted some of our "hard-to-find" pictures during high school in Facebook. I was elated. Same so with my other former classmates since most of them clicked the LIKE button on each pic (I wonder why there's no DISLIKE to click on?). I don't have copies of those pictures anymore since all of my high school pics were washed away by the flood brought by typhoon Frank. So as I've said, I'm very glad that my classmate had the initiative and time to post them and tag me. While browsing, I realized we were so jologs back then with those funny hairstyles, loose shirts, straight-cut above-the-ankle jeans, lousy sneakers, and yeah, the naive looks. I really couldn't help but smile.I was looking at the younger version of me and "he" seemed like a different person. Time indeed can change everything as it spins.

One of my classmates then posted a comment in one of the pics saying that we all look too innocent. Very far from what we are now, he added. Another one replied by saying not all. And another one posted asking if we are sure that all of us during that time were innocent (and put a smiley at the end). I knew right from the start that these comments were just jokes to spice up the flow of the conversation. And so I went with the flow. I cracked up a joke saying one of us I guess is not already a virgin during that time. I first referred that joke to myself although all I knew during my high school time was the "hand job" (LOL). But then one of my classmates posted and asked me if who am I talking about? It so happened that that inquiring classmate was the most flirtatious girl in our class. She even had two or more boyfriends at the same time during our senior year, a playgirl reputation in short. So without thinking twice, I replied "It was you." I was grinning while I typed that short sentence 'cause it was intended as a joke. But little did I know that that joke would be a big issue the next day after.

The morning I woke up after I posted that comment, I got a total of 15 emails from my classmates and all of them were reactions ranging from admonition to outrage. The outrage of course came from the person whom I threw the joke upon which by the way owned 4 of the emails out of 15. She was so mad at me for that joke because according to her I disgraced her dignity. Further more, she added that she was still a certified virgin during that time and that my comment made her family angry since most of her siblings and cousins have Facebook accounts and that they have read the comment I made. My other classmates on the other hand told me that it was a foul thing to say in a social network.

I realized my mistake. It was foul indeed. A social networking site is not a place for such jokes since it can be read by anybody and considering that we Filipinos are still conservatives. I was carried away by the flow of the conversation that I failed to realize how simple jokes could hurt other people. Yeah, my classmate maybe a flirt but that doesn't give me the right to comment whatever I want about her. I was so plain stupid. I forgot my internet etiquette.

The next thing I did of course was apologized to my classmate and to her family profusely and I did that not just personally but publicly in Facebook where it all started. Talking about swallowing your pride in cyberspace! But I guess that's the right thing to do. A gentleman must learn to accept his mistakes. I know my pride is important but I also value my friends greater than my pride. Humility they say can make you a better man and so I hope. So the next time you post something in the internet, think twice first before pressing enter. Remember that words spoken or written and read can never be retracted. It could either build up or destroy a spirit. Learn from my mistake.

Eating The Fruit Of Your Labor Makes You Forget About Your Diet

2010-10-05T14:44:00.009+08:00

Planting rice is not easy, that's what our traditional folk song says and I guess it's true. But it failed to mention that drying rice grain is also a laborious job too, well that's what I have experienced today. Ha ha ha... In rural areas like our humble town Maasin, some people do not go directly to grocery stores and buy rice for their meals. Instead, they dry rice grains and have it milled. This happens especially in the case of those who have rice farms. Like in the case of my Aunt.

Rice milling here in our town is semi-traditional. I call it "semi" since we are already using milling machine (which is nontraditional) through mobile milling trucks, the locals call it here as "traveling" or "kuliglig" (which you can contact anytime through texting --- the power of modern technology), as opposed to the "bayo" or the crushing process. But we still dry the rice while they are still in their hulls or husks with the use of the sun's heat which is a traditional method. What we do is that we spread the grains over the amacan or bamboo mat and leave it there for 3 to 5 hours under the sun's scorching heat. After that, the grains are then ready to be milled.

I volunteered to do the drying today since it's my day off. I didn't know what had gotten into me at that moment but I raised up my hand anyway when my aunt asked for a volunteer. The good and reliable nephew that is me. Ha ha ha... One thing that surprised me about the task was the discovery that I could lift one sack of unmilled rice. And I lifted a total of four sacks! How's that? Feeling Superman! Ha ha ha... The only thing I hate about rice drying is my allergy with rice hulls. My skin, especially in the area of my forearms, gets itchy and red upon contact with the hulls. I took a bath right after I spread the rice in the amacan and right after I placed them back in the sacks after drying. I then contacted the traveling and in just a few minutes, bingo! One sack and a half of milled white rice.

The lesson I learned about this experience is that eating the rice you labored upon is quite appetizing. Each grain in your plate seems like a precious stone that must not be wasted down to the trash bin. It makes you eat with gusto and it makes you forget about your one-cup-of-rice-only diet. More rice please!

All About Movies

2010-09-15T02:22:00.012+08:00

This entry is the second part of the one I previously posted titled Life On Tube. This time I am going to talk about the movies I have watched lately.

-oOo-

THE SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION

Keeping hope alive amidst desperate and miserable conditions was the thought that struck (and eventually inspired) me after watching The Shawshank Redemption starring Tim Robbins and Morgan Freeman. The movie is based on Stephen King's novella titled Rita Hayworth And The Shawshank Redemption which is one of the many works of King adapted into the silver screen. Other themes that revolve around the movie are the sense of freedom despite physical isolation and perseverance against all odds. The movie at the start was a little bit solemn for me which gave me the prejudice impression that it might be boring, but as it progressed, the mystery of Robbin's character named Andy started to intrigue me. Questions suddenly flocked my brain like Did he really murdered his wife and his wife's lover? He keeps on repeating time after time that he is innocent, what if he is? What's with the enigmatic smile? Why does it seem like he's always detached from the people around him although from time to time he does reach out to his fellow inmates? There's something fishy about the rock hammer Andy smuggled into his cell aside of course from the reason he stated that he is going to use it in carving chess pieces out of rocks. Is he going to use it to escape prison? But how? Does he have the intention to break prison right from the start? Why does he want his friend Red (played by Morgan Freeman) to find the cache he buried in a certain remote spot in Buxton? What does the box contain anyway? Most of all, what is his secret? As I reached the latter part of the movie, the climactic part I must say, it was like someone pounded a hammer at the back of my head! I was so surprised by the revelations that it made me gaped for a minute. For 20 years Andy had carefully and clandestinely planned his escape from the said maximum security prison. Well the 20 years of patience and hard work (not to mention the tortures) was all worth it. He broke free together with the warden's money (a karma I mus say for the corrupt warden). Genius! If there is one thing that the movie made an impression to me, it is the thought that in this harsh and cold world, clinging to hope is the only thing that can make us keep on living and likewise can maintain our grip to sanity.

-oOo-

RINGU 1, 2, & 0

Ringu is the Japanese horror movie where the American version The Ring was adapted. Even though I was only depending on the English subtitle to fully comprehend the film, it didn't failed to give me the scare I needed. The movie is about a video film whom after watching it the person will instantly receive a call from an anonymous caller who doesn't respond anyway. The said video, with disturbing and scary images in it, is actually a cursed one in which after a week of watching it, the viewer dies from unexplained death which is usually characterized with the victim's face disfigured in a gruesome manner. Ringu tells the story of a tv reporter named Asakawa Reiko whom after investigating the mysterious death of her niece led her to search for the cursed video tape attributed to her niece's death. Upon discovering the said video tape in the place where her niece and her friends found and watched it, Reiko was tempted to watch the video (and eventually received a call from an anonymous speechless caller as expected) and later realized that the curse was indeed true. With one week left, Reiko and her ex-husband Takayama ,who had also watched the video, ventured into seeking the history of the tape in the hope that they will be able to find a way to break free from the curse of death. Their investigation led them to Izu Oshima Island and eventually the discovery that a girl named Sadaku was responsible for the creation of the cursed video tape.

The film later revealed that Sadaku was a child with immense psychic powers. So immense that she could make a person dead on the spot by just thinking of it. Because of this ability, her father considered her as trouble and dangerous so he decided to throw her into a well and trapped her there until she died. But before Sadaku perished, she was able to imprint her thoughts of hatred and malice on a video tape thus the cursed video came into existence. With that scene of how the girl Sadako died flashed on Takayama's thought due to his clairvoyant ability, he and Reiko decided to uncover Sadaku's body in the well thinking that it was the only act that could save them both, including their son who had also watched the tape, from imminent death. Sure indeed they found Sadaku's body and reported it to the police. But just when they thought that it was over, Sadaku's vengeful spirit attacked Takayama the following night, leaving him dead and with a face that was badly disfigured. Reiko was baffled upon her ex-husband's death because she thought that they had already broke the curse but it seemed that they were wrong. And why was she still alive although a week had already gone by since she watched the video? As she thought about what she had done that spared her from Sadaku's wrath, she later realized that her act of making a copy of the tape was the one that saved her from the curse. And so Reiko went to her son to try and save him, thus, the cycle of copying the evil tape for the survival of anyone who watch it continues.

The killing ghost of Sadaku never actually scared me. What gave me the creep were the disturbing images in the video. Likewise the thought of living inside the well for almost 28 years for it was also revealed in the film that although Sadaku was thrown in the well 30 years ago, the autopsy finding of the police authority stated that the body was dead for almost 2 years only. So what was Sadaku been doing all along inside the well for almost 3 decades? Drinking murky water? Eating rocks? And one more thing, the nail-less fingers of Sadaku must be the result of her struggles of trying to climb up out of the well. Pretty creepy!

The sequel and prequel of Ringu, Ringu 2 and Ringu 0: Birthday respectively, are also sure hit scary. But the latter I must say took a twist by telling that it was not Sadaku who killed her victims but her evil twin sister who accompanied her in the spirit form while she was still alive. I just want to suggest not to watch these movies before going to bed. You may end up trying not to peek whose under your bed. Ha ha ha...

-oOo-

THE GODFATHER I

I am always intrigued with the Mafias. I am not a violent creature by nature but gang wars and criminal syndicates portrayed in movies, television, and literature fascinate me. Maybe it is their cunning and the dynamic of their "profession" ('cause you'll never know who's your real friend and who's your enemy) that draws me or maybe it is my own outlet of releasing my "sense of danger". Naks!

I watched The Godfather (based on Mario Puzo's novel) because a lot of modern literature wrote about it, because it is considered by the American Film Institute as the greatest American movie of all time, ranking at number one, because a lot of my friends recommended it to me, and because as I have said earlier, I love gang wars. I must admit that it is the first time that I have watched it though the film was made 33 years ago. I think the reason why it took me so long to watch this film was maybe because I had this impression way back that movies from the 70 era downward were kind of boring which was of course a wrong opinion for there are lots of good, even great movies, during the time I wasn't born yet.

The Godfather appealed to me greatly after watching it not because of the violence and the business of crime but because of the impression that the movie was trying to impart which was family must always comes first. The bond shared by the Corleone family towards each other was so strong that even the adopted members and the caporegimes felt that they were part of the Corleone's blood. I guess this is what makes the feudal system of the Mafias work, the lords make their vassals feel that they are valuable, that they are important members of a big powerful family. Thus, the lords (the dons in the case of the movie) hold their vassals reverence, loyalty, and service.

There are two actors in the movie that awed me with their performance namely, Marlon Brando and Al Pacino. Brando as Don Corleone successfully portrayed the man torn between power and the love for his family. For me, Don Corleone is a character which is an abstract to himself. He is compassionate but ruthless. Helpful to those who acknowledge him as the godfather and to those who ask his favor yet merciless to those who crosses his path. He seems like a silent and a somber person yet his mind is cunning and his actions are carefully planned. He protects all his subjects and crushes all his detractors. He is a doting father and at the same time the feared boss of crime business. With all these opposing qualities combined in the person of Don Vitto Corleone, no wonder he is a strong tower which the other families (a.k.a. groups of organized crime) in the US are trying to bring down. And no wonder too that all his subjects respect and revere him greatly. I guess I can say that no other man could play Don Corleone best but Brandon himself.

Al Pacino on the other hand just proved me in this epic that he is already a brilliant actor during his youth and even greater until now. His presence in the film commands attention I must say. His sudden transformation from a World War II military man and an enigmatic favorite son of the Corleone family into the big boss of crime syndicate (he replaced the deceased Don Vitto at the latter part) is I think the storyline in the movie that made a distinct imprint on the minds of the viewers. Just like Brandon, Pacino is indeed the perfect actor for the character of Michael. The two complimented each other and they've brought such spark to the movie that left viewers like me burning for more. I've got to watch the installments of the trilogy sooner. I must.

-oOo-

A Time To Kill

I love most of John Grishams' novels. The good plots, the vivid characters, the suspense, the legal concepts, and the philosophical question of what is right from wrong that often resonates in his works always stimulate my brain. That is why watching A Time To Kill's film adaptation was a blast. Joel Schumacher was great in trying to be true to the book although there were some alterations which was of course necessary because you can't put everything in the book to the reel. Matthew McConaughey was very feisty in his role as Atty. Jake Brigance and of course I must also give credit to Samuel L. Jackson for playing convincingly the character of Carl Lee Hailey, the avenging father of a raped 10-year-old girl.

The movie revolves around the themes such as racism, family and morality especially the question if it is right to avenge the brutal death the one you love? The movie also dwell in the question, What violent act can be considered as legal insanity? The film was a roller-coaster of suspense and emotion for me that it feels like I've been static in the couch for almost 2 hours. In the end Hailey was acquitted, thank goodness, and the series of threats against Brigance and those people helping him were finally put to an end. I really wondered what will I feel if I were in the place of Hailey. Will I kill the persons who violated by daughter's innocence? And what if I were Brigance, will I try to defend Hailey despite of all the odds that I will be facing in the future and that includes endangering my family's life just because I believe that what I am fighting for is the right thing to do? I love movies that raises questions in my head, they're like caffeine that keeps my neurons awake. He he he...

And oh by the way, Sandra Bullock was sexy in this film!

-oOo-

The Prince Of Persia: The Sands Of Time

Jerry Buckheimer, the man who gave us Armageddon, The Pirates of the Caribbean Series, and many other box-office hit movies had once again dished us with another action-packed adventure and this time, the setting was in the ancient empire of Persia. The Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time starring Jake Gyllenhall is the film version of the famous video game with the same title. The movie tells about the story of a young vagabond, rascal, street kid or whatever named Dastan (Gyllenhall), whose agility and skills in combat impressed the king thus adopted by the latter and as he turned into a full grown man became one of the leaders of the empire's army.

Together with his foster brothers and uncle, they led a legion of soldiers to conquer the sacred city of Alamut which was ruled by a beautiful princess named Tamina, played by actress Gemma Arterton (this Bond girl is hot!). The siege of the said city was a success leading to the capture of the princess and Dastan's secret discovery of the Dagger of Time. But Dastan's victory was short lived because he was tricked by his foster uncle through his innocent brother Tus to present the king with a poisoned robe which killed the king right after donning it. Dastan became at large and hunted leading to the unlikely alliance between him and Tamina which hated him for destroying her city and for stealing the the powerful dagger.

And so Dastan and Tamina were hunted. Nizam, the king's brother, adviser, and culprit of the king's death on the other hand, hired the Hassasins which was a group composed of skilled warriors who were wiling to slay anyone in exchange for payments to kill the "fugitives". But well, it seemed that Dastan was more skilled than them (he's the main protagonist anyway, duh!) so in the end all the Hassasins perished with a little help from Dastan's faithful minions and it's payback time for Uncle Nizam. The climax of the film happened in Alamut where Nizam's treachery was revealed which led to a battle between uncle and foster nephew. Of course, Dastan won at the end and peace was once again restored in the Empire of Persia and the sacred city of Alamut. I don't know if Dastan and Tamina will end up as husband and wife because it was not included in the movie but Dastan gave us a hint by saying to Tamina that he's looking forward to spend his life with her. Yehey! Toinks!

-oOo-

Ok there you go. I'll post more of the movies I've watched lately and my thoughts about them. As of now, I have to rest my tired eyes. Ciao!

Life On Tube

2010-09-09T20:56:00.009+08:00

I have nothing to do lately so life is starting to become boring again. It's a good thing that I have all these downloaded movies and television shows (don't ask me where I get them LOL!), at least I could escape from reality's boredom to surrealism's fiction and fantasy. Starting last week I have begun a marathon of all my favorite movies and television shows and I enjoy it. I found out that life on couch (aside from my life on bed when I do my readings) is a good refuge for a bored creature like me. I started my tube marathon with the season 1 of Glee which I've finished by the way for just a day. Man, the show was hilarious and wickedly funny! And of course, the musical numbers were awesome! I commend Ryan Murphy, the creator of the show, for creating such an inspiring (yet funny) show dedicated for the underdogs and the outcasts like me... he he he. The Power of Madonna and likewise the Journey episodes were the ones I like best. I hope they will make tribute episodes for great artists like The Beatles, Michael Jackson, U2, Eric Clapton, and Elton John in the near future. I can't wait for season 2 to come especially now that Charice (her character in the show by the way is Sunshine Corazon --- can't they find another name aside from that?) is in. Watching the teasers for season 2 is killing me! Huh!

The power to bring back the dead to life is what Ned "The Piemaker", played by blooming actor Lee Pace, possesses in the fantasy comedy series Pushing Daisies. I love the show because of it's fresh storyline, crisp dialogue, and superb visual design. Watching the show was like watching a mini-movie of Tim Burton. In the show, the lead protagonist Ned as I have mentioned earlier has the power to revive the dead with just a touch and make the resurrected person lifeless again, this time for good, with just another touch. Not only that, Ned also discovered that keeping the dead person alive for more than one minute would result to another tragedy: someone has to die in replace for the one resurrected. This consequence is randomly selected by the cosmic force so you'll never know who's gonna die next (but usually, someone near the vicinity of the person brought back to life is the unfortunate replacement). The story of the show goes with Ned bringing back his childhood sweetheart and only love Charlotte "Chuck" Charles to the land of the living after the latter was murdered on a boat trip. Supposedly, Ned's purpose of resurrecting the love of his life was to uncover the real identity of the murderer since Ned entered into a partnership with private investigator Emerson Cod but unfortunately, Ned was conquered by his overwhelming love for Chuck so he kept the woman alive. The dilemma begins with Ned not being able to touch Charlotte for it will make her dead again forever. So they tried anything they could think of just to be able to "touch" one another and that includes kissing with a cellophane in between (pretty creative!). Another character that adds spice to the show is the pie waitress Olive Snook played by the amazing actress Kristin Chenoweth. Man, she's a natural comic! I just can't stop grinning when Olive is around. And she can sing! Kristin by the way also guest starred in season 1 of Glee. She's astounding! No wonder she won an Emmy for best supporting actress in Pushing Daisies. I finished watching the two seasons of the show in just one day and a half and it made my back hurt for sitting almost 24 hours! Tsk tsk tsk... Very unhealthy I must say.

Another show I'm so hooked up with is Grey's Anatomy. I'm currently following season 3 so I still have a lot to catch on since the show is already on its 7th season. As of now, all I know is that I hate Meredith Grey because she's like bitch-whore, making up with a surgeon and a veterinarian at the same time, and the rest of the characters were just simply amazing particularly Izzy, Christina, Miranda, George and Karev. The season 2 finale was really heart-pounding with a bonus plus of Christina Ricci as a guest star playing a scared-to-death-rat paramedic. How I wished the bomb exploded while Meredith was holding it. Unfortunately it didn't happen because it would no longer be Grey's Anatomy if Meredith will explode into smithereens. But how about killing Meredith and renaming the show into Steven's Anatomy? Or O'Malley's Anatomy? Or Karev's Anatomy? That would be great I guess but I know it won't happen. LOL...

After Grey's Anatomy season 3 I think next on my list will be either Lost, Vampire Diaries, Nurse Jackie or Modern Family before I proceed with season 4. Haaay.... My aunt is already complaining about our electric bill soaring high but in this modern time, that is just one of the prices we must pay for diversion and entertainment. On my next post I'll be writing about the movies I've watched lately. Ciao!

Horror Ride

2010-08-25T21:25:00.002+08:00

August 23, 2010, from morning to dusk, the whole world focused their attention on Quirino Grand Stand, Luneta, Manila through their televisions to witness one of the most horrifying hostage drama, if not in the whole world, then in the Philippine history. The hostages were Filipino and Chinese nationals aboard on a tour bus, the perpetrator was a "deranged" ex-policeman (who wanted his former job back), and the negotiators were ummm... how will I put this into proper context... clowns in SWAT uniforms. I'm sorry about that description, it may sound offensive but I'm entitled to my opinion anyway.

The incident was an example of wanton display of violence turned into some sort of a circus. It really made me wonder if our policemen particularly the SWAT knew by heart the special operating procedures, guidelines, protocol or whatsoever about hostage crisis management? It seems like they were following some sort of Jurassic-age protocol. They were like elementary kids playing hide and seek. Very disheartening. I must say that our government should look into the depth of the issue and learn from it. It's a wake up call for our government officials and likewise for our police authority to strengthen the preparedness of our law enforcers on different situations not only in hostage takings. Our policemen must be trained well, always updated with the new trends and technologies that will make their law enforcing effective (and safe to the public), they must know by heart the guidelines of protecting human rights, and yes, the government should find ways too to boost their morale.

Until now, I am still wondering where were the high ranking officials (e.g. the mayor of Manila, the heads of PNP, the people of DND) during the hostage ordeal? Supposedly, in critical situations such as this, there must be someone in position present and in control. Well it seems like they joined all the Filipinos in the whole archipelago staying at wherever they may be and glued themselves on their televisions watching the situation like it was just some sort of a Pinoy action movie. Even the President could not be reached by the ambassador of China (or Hong Kong) and the reason given was that he was so engrossed in a close door meeting with regards to how the situation must be handled. As the line of one of Paula Cole's songs goes: "Where have all the cowboys gone?"

The terrifying event became more of a fiasco with all the medias covering the incident inch by inch. It was more like a boxing event that each movement was analyzed to the point of exaggeration. It even came to the point that some media men acted like negotiators with all their phone interviews with Mendoza the hostage taker which supposedly should not be the case. With all their coverage of the incident, the media people failed to put into consideration that maybe the perpetrator was monitoring what was happening outside since most tour and airconditioned busses have television set inside thus giving him information that could help him plan for his next moves. In the effort of getting the most exclusive scoops just to raise their stations rating (lets face, it's all about ratings!), the idea that maybe they are hampering the negotiation process didn't crossed their minds. Shame.

The said hostage crisis ended not like most action movies do in which the criminal got caught (or was shot dead) and all returned to normal then the credits appeared. It ended more like of a Shakespearean tragedy with most of the actors involved dead, in this case the hostages, and then the blaming starts (as usual).

What really made me pondered after this incident was the fact that a police enforcer had done such crime in broad daylight, alone and with less fear and hesitation. It made me think how a promising and a good public servant was pushed to do such despicable act. Was it really Mendoza's fault? Or was he just one of the victims in this tragic circus? Was the hostage taking that took eight innocent lives the action of a man whose sanity was ravaged by the injustice of our social system? Or was it the deed of a man with no conscience at all right from the very start? May the pointing of fingers for the sake of coming out clean by the entities involved will not cloud the thing that really matters as of the moment: JUSTICE.

Just Some Random Thoughts

2010-08-12T22:52:00.008+08:00

After a month of hiatus, I'm back at last in my blog. I've been very busy with mixed stuffs lately that I finally missed writing. Anyway, I'm glad that I have found at last a time to squeeze in blogging although I have no idea what am I going to write in this entry.

Just this afternoon by the way, I had a haircut session with an anonymous barber in our town. It dawned upon me yesterday while looking at the mirror that sporting a long hair doesn't fit me because instead of looking like those male stars in Korean soap operas, I looked more like of a crossbreed between a horse and a caveman. I'm back in my old hairstyle, that is clean barber's cut, and I feel so refreshed. The cutting of my almost-long mane was also a form of cost-cutting since from now on I don't have to use anymore a plenty amount of shampoo just to make my crown clean. A sachette of shampoo nowadays costs P 6.00, hygiene has become expensive.

And because everything has become expensive, I need to find a job. That's is why I applied in a call center company just yesterday to have a job while waiting for the time for me to take the board exam for nurses. Done with my preliminary interview and I do hope that I will pass and move on to the final. Good luck to me!

Speaking of luck, Charice was very lucky to be cast on the American hit (and now a worldwide phenomenon) tv show called Glee. I'm a big fan of the show, simply because I love music, that I just can't get enough of it. And watching our very own kababayan Charice in the future episodes of the show will surely give me goosebumps. In connection with Glee, a male friend of mine commented once that guys watching Glee are gays. I just couldn't help but laugh at such narrow-mindedness. If television shows are made just to cater or entertain a certain group of people then the result would be these: The Biggest Loser for obese people, Grey's Anatomy for lustful surgeons, Big Brother for voyeurs, Desperate Housewives for, well, desperate housewives, UFC for troublemakers, Nurse Jackie for addict nurses, Mercy for bitch nurses, Cribs for the akyat-bahay gang (i.e. thieves), Beverly Hills 90210 for promiscuous teenagers, Ghost Whisperer for schizophrenic people suffering with hallucinations, Vampire Diaries for vampire bats (since vampires don't really exist in real life), Smallville for those who have a delusion of grandeur (thinking that they are some sort of superheroes), and yes, Agua Bendita for those suffering from water-borne diseases, dehydration, and water intoxication. My point is, enough of the discrimination and bigotry. Lets just enjoy the show.

'Til next post.

My Dream Room

2010-06-25T12:59:00.015+08:00

The comfort room is also my dream room. Yes, you heard it right, my dream room. No, I don't sleep there 'cause that will make me look stupid than I already am although I'm the type of guy who can take a nap anywhere --- in jeepnies while commuting, in theaters when I find the movie boring, in front of my professor way back in college (the complexity of the lesson and his monotonous voice were like Valium), and even in restaurants when my orders take too long to arrive. Back to what I have said earlier, I never sleep in the comfort room because aside from the fact that I know what it is obviously for, my fantasies erupt every time I'm in there which activates my neurons into their state of creativity. I have no concrete explanation about this "phenomenon" but all I know is that every time I sit on the "glorious throne" (the toilet bowl that is), my daydreaming activity automatically begins that not even my valsalva maneuver could interrupt it. It's like being transported into another place, time, and reality. That's why I call it, aside from its original name, the dream room.

-oOo-

According to Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, each of us, upon fulfilling our physiological, security, and social needs, must see to it that the next level of need which deals on esteem will be addressed. Since I have already fulfilled the basic three in the hierarchy (I think so... he he he), I am now trying to deal on how to increase my self-esteem which we often get through social recognition and accomplishments. This maybe the reason why I often daydream of being a recipient of prestigious awards when I'm inside my dream room. Oscar, Grammy, Tony, Train, Golden Globe, Emmy, Nobel, Pulitzer, Ramon Magsaysay, Famas, Palanca, and so on. Name it, I have it! Of course upon receiving those trophies, usually a shampoo's bottle as my prop, there would be speeches. "Whew! I can't believe this (At this point I will give a quick glance at my trophy... or the bottle of shampoo to be exact, as if utterly surprised). First of all, I would like to thank God for the gift of life and for all the blessings he has bestowed upon me. Then to my mom for all your love, patience, and sacrifices of raising us your sons. You are my inspiration. Thank you too to all my brothers. Your love and support guys have brought me this far. To my producers, writers, director and the rest of the technical staff, thank you very much guys for giving me this break. This is the fruit of our labors! To the academy, thank you for recognizing my talent and for believing in me, you are all amazing. To my fellow Filipinos, I dedicate this award to all of you, we did it again! Mabuhay tayong lahat!" And then I had to cut my speech because the orchestra had already resumed playing. Ha ha ha...

-oOo-

Who wants to be a superhero? Well I do! Just imagine the things that you can do when you are a super powered being --- fly to the moon, teleport to Boracay, walk through the walls of China, read the mind of your crush, summon a typhoon when you feel like tired of going to work, and mop the floor of your house without even holding a mop but just by mere telekinesis. Totally awesome! And yes, I transform into a superhero every time I'm confined in my dream room, also known as the Chamber of Metamorphosis! No, I don't turn into Superman, Spiderman, the Green Lantern, Batman, Wolverine, or Cyclops. Definitely not Wonderwoman or Storm either. My philosophy is against imitations and copycats. I just simply transformed into my alter ego, none other than....... the invincible SUPER JIM! Tadaaaah!!! The superhero who has the power of all known superheroes combined! Beat that! Ha ha ha... As of now I am still making up my mind whether I should sign a contract as a mainstay character of Marvel or DC and whether I should join a group or just go solo. Hmmm... Being a superhero is indeed not that easy. One more thing, let us just keep my real identity a secret, okay? I don't want paparazzi to stalk yours truly, I still want my privacy.

-oOo-

A fiery and idealistic politician sometimes I become in my magical dream room. This usually happens when the whole country's attention is suddenly diverted to big political issues such as graft and corruption, coup and mutiny, involvement of our government leaders in various scandals, and as ever, the big poverty problem. I get easily affected with these issues that, again, sitting in my "glorious throne", I often visualize myself sitting in the middle of a very long oak table, wearing an exquisite barong tagalog, and conducting meeting with my cabinet officials. I will then proceed into an episode in which I will get mad with all their inefficiencies and lack of sense of responsibility and concern. I will then come up with solutions that will alleviate this country from destitution. Time magazine will feature me as the President Who Save The Philippnes. Whew! Tsk tsk tsk... This is what watching the daily news has brought me.

-oOo-

I love my dream room. I can be whatever I want when I'm inside it. Sometimes a famous athlete, an adored rockstar, an A-List actor, a sought-after model, a revered writer, an idolized philanthropist, an immortal seductive vampire, or a sly detective. Anything and everything! Nothing is impossible. The four walls of the small room seem to stretch to contain the vast imagination of my mind. Magical. That's why I see to it that it is clean and deodorized every day.

Call it a delusion of grandeur. Call it insanity. I don't care. All I know is that my dream room serves as place for me to escape temporarily from reality. Sometimes, we do need a break from life's harshness and indifference. Isn't it?

So, wanna join me in my dream room?

Too Much Love Can Kill A Mockingbird

2010-06-21T17:56:00.010+08:00

Harper Lee's To Kill A Mockingbird is I think one of the best coming-of-age novel ever written so far, joining the ranks (in my opinion) of Jane Eyre, Great Expectations, and Tom Sawyer. In fact, it is one of my few personal favorites because it reaffirmed my love for reading and even for writing. I finished rereading To Kill A Mockingbird just today for I don't know how many times already, maybe more than my fingers could count 'cause I lost track of it, and the book still didn't failed to mesmerized me, to awaken the child inside me and to find some of the debris of my lost innocence.

I love the way Ms. Lee told the story. She used a child's perspective in the person of course of Scout. The innocence, candidness, honesty, humor, the little naughtiness and mystery in the way Scout recount her story resulted to pure enchantment that I could always catch myself grinning from time to time when I read it. As if the story was mine. So familiar and so true. I was like a child again every time I browse the pages of the book.

Another thing I love about the said novel was it's sheer simplicity and authenticity. The setting was just an ordinary town but the characters were so vivid and almost real that you might think they were just your next door neighbors. The plot too was carefully planned and paced that Ms. Lee was able to turned usual events and activities of daily living into something that is extraordinary and interesting. Most of all, what really bewitched me about the book are the lessons of friendship, the importance of humility and belief in one's principles, and the respect for human dignity.

-oOo-

What will you do for love? This is one of the few questions that really struck my mind 'til now after reading the novel aptly titled Love by the Nobel laureate Toni Morrison which I read every night before going to sleep during the last two weeks. Once again in this work, Ms. Morrison proved to her fans that she could still mesmerize and intrigue them with whatever topic she wants to stir in their minds and likewise to her critics that her flair for making social issues as an interesting subjects in her works has not yet waned.

In this book, Morrison's main characters, all of them black women (reminds me of her another work titled Paradise), were fighting over one man's love and attention. My interest was captured by the rivalry between Christine and Heed, both were former childhood best friends. The former was the granddaughter of Bill Cosey (the man who was the center of their fights) and the latter was the wife of her best friend's grandfather. Got it? The other characters, May (Bill's daughter-in-law and Christine's mom), Vida (Bill's former employee), L (Bill's loyal employee and confidant), Celestial (Bill's mistress?) and Junior (the correctional girl who was infatuated with Bill's portrait) were also in their own ways trying to get even just a chunk of the man's affection. But who would have thought that such love could brought some of them to their own demise? Who would have thought that such love could lead them to misery, loneliness, and isolation? Who would have thought that such love could be as powerful as hate that it slowly consumed them and made them turn against each other?

This book at the end gave me a somber realization. Our obsession about love, that is to love and be loved, often made us blind to the point of insanity. We tend to forget reasons and likewise to value other things that matter such as self-worth and respect, family and friendship. I really pity both Christine and Heed at the end. They ruined their precious friendship and wasted the time to mend it over a love that was never reciprocated. Too much of everything is indeed a bad thing. Too much love destroyed the two best friends. Too much love can kill a mockingbird.

Remembering Romeo In This Day For Fathers

2010-06-20T12:08:00.013+08:00

My father was an enigma to me. He was like a stranger and a friend at the same time. When he meant business, acting as a responsible parent, he was like an authority of formidable and unbreakable power that it made me having a hard time penetrating the invisible walls he unknowingly built around him. His serious face, cold and inquisitive stare, firm voice, honest criticisms, and unwavering self-confidence often made my justifications futile and irrelevant. I hated him silently during those moments. It made the rebel in me plan for a coup d'tat which was never executed at all. My mutiny was unspoken.

My father was a strict disciplinarian. Maybe because he was a former teacher. Maybe because he was a soldier. Or simply maybe because it was innate in him to act properly according to the rules. He was a fan of Proverbs 13:24, so he didn't spare us the rod if the blunders we did call for it. But this belief of his didn't made me detest him to be honest. It was his way of making me feel guilty through his tactful words, very solemn and almost holy to the ears, that made me hate and love him at the same time. Inside my heart, those honest words he spilled during times he were mad felt like a white liquid suddenly boiled and exploded my young spirit to deflation.

The intensity of hatred I felt for my father was also as strong as the love I felt for him. I think these two often accompanies each other especially if the person whom you spend your affection and respect with is a person so complex, mysterious, incomprehensible and impenetrable. Unlike my mother who is so vocal with all her emotions and sentiments, my dad on the other hand was a quite man. He was for me a man whose personality was defined by the accuracy of his actions. He wasn't impulsive and I think, he always tried to be a gentleman in all his ways. That was the difficulty I encountered when I was still a kid. I couldn't read his mind with just his actions. Maybe my young mind was still feeble to possess such skill during that time. Calculating his every action was like deciphering hieroglyphics in my bedroom's wall. And that was what made him seem so distant from me, his being so contained and unpredictable.

Yet, there were also times when his coldness vanished and temporarily replaced by the fire of congeniality. Maybe those were the times when his paternal affection was overflowing and too consuming that it temporarily shattered the walls he built. These were the times when he would carefully combed my hair like that of Jose Rizal's style, filed my nails, created toy cars and kites out of indigenous materials for us my brothers to play on, sang for us while I and my brothers had our afternoon nap, cooked our favorite bukayo and fried banana, and patiently taught me my lessons in Mathematics and English. Those were the moments when it felt like he was the long lost friend I lost. The fragile man trapped inside his box of stone.

If there was one trait I really admired my father for, it was his ardent and undying devotion to my mother. His love for her was like a diamond polished by the friction of time. He adored her like a goddess and considered her as his bestfriend, his soul-mate. I think my mom was the only living soul in this planet whom he could honestly connect with. The woman whom he could bare his entire soul. Which really amused me thinking that they were very opposite from each other. My mom is a clanging bell, my father was a silent river. Yet they complimented each other.

Aside from the trait I mentioned above, I also admired my father for his unbending principles and his voracious appetite for knowledge. I think I got my love for reading from my father because every time I watch him reading whether a book or a newspaper, so absorbed and disconnected, he was like an ethereal creature. Flawed yet beautiful.

When I reached my 13th birthday, my father died. The event was too painful for me for a lot of reasons. First, I was too young to be the new head of the family. I was scared of the responsibilities waiting ahead. Second, the absence of my father was like being left in the open to be ravished by wolves. Naked, cold, and helpless. And most of all, there would be no more future opportunities of knowing him, of knowing the man whose past I supposed was lonely and sad. The man hardened by the tests of life. I always thought that I detested my father in the past simply because he was just indifferent and emotionless. But now that I am already reaching my thirty, I started to realize that I hated him way back because I am just like him. I desperately wanted to be like him. Now, I just smile whenever the old folks of my father's kindred say to me, "You are just like your father." I don't know why but those words really give me comfort.

To Romeo, may you continue to watch over us wherever you are. We miss you. Happy Fathers' Day Tatay.

The Karate Kid And His Kung Fu Master

2010-06-19T10:56:00.005+08:00

Karate Kid - one of the movies in the 80s that really made me dream of becoming a martial arts blackbelter someday aside of course from the Jackie Chan flicks circulating during that decade which I really loved. Hiyaaaah!!! Now that I am already 29 years old, that dream remained just a childhood dream now stocked in the corner crevice of my mind although from time to time I still dust it off and reminisce upon it with inexplicable joy and amusement.

Who could ever forget (that is, if you're an 80s spawn) the "wax in, wax out" moves of Daniel as he was told by his teacher Mr. Miyagi to wax the old man's car? Which later when Daniel became eventually got tired of the routine chore, aside from the fact he was also told to sand wooden floors and paint fences, expressed his frustrations of learning nothing. But of course, Mr. Miyagi revealed later that what he was doing what actually teaching Daniel defensive blocks through muscle memory disguised in performing those aforementioned chores. Aha! Sensei knew what he was doing Daniel! The movie continued with Daniel's further (extensive) training with Mr. Miyagi and the bond he later forged with his master, so on and so forth.

The original Karate Kid was a big blockbuster that sequels followed --- Karate Kid Part II & III and the Next Karate Kid which starred one of my favorite actresses in the present, Hilary Swank. The movie likewise created a buzz on the pop culture that kids during my time wanted to enroll in karate lessons (like yours truly... He he he...).

Yesterday I was able to watch the remake of Karate Kid starring Jaden Smith (in place of Daniel) and Jackie Chan (in place of Mr. Miyagi). Like the original Karate Kid, the story of Dre (Jaden's character) was the story of coming-of-age, adapting to change, believing in one's self, and the powerful bond that unites two people which is friendship. Although the remake's themes were almost similar to that of the original, there were also a big difference that made the recent version, well, controversial and confusing. That difference was the title of the movie itself. You see, in the current version, Mr. Han (the character played by Jackie and teacher of Dre) was teaching Dre kung fu techniques and not karate. If we are not familiar with the two fighting arts, we can say that they are just the same. But the truth is, there is a big difference with the two. Karate employs linear and crisp movements while kung fu movements are circular and fluid, a mimicry of animal movements. Although both have philosophical and spiritual significance to the people who developed them over the years, they have different origins. Karate is from Japan while kung fu is from China.

Therefore, although I really loved Dre (and a new convert fan of Jaden, Will must be proud of his boy), I strongly disagree with the producers' decision of making the remake's title the same as that of the original. It should be Kung Fu Kid not Karate Kid, just to be politically correct and likewise to avoid confusion. Tsk tsk tsk... Kung Fu Panda is fuming!

I Want To Break Free

2010-06-12T14:40:00.007+08:00

I want to break free from my insecurity of having a prominent and vast forehead. Especially in times when it becomes so shiny that it "glows in the dark". From now on, I'll just think of my forehead as the "shining beacon of hope" to all humanity. LOL...

I want to break free from the thought that Armageddon is fast approaching. Chaos is the natural order of life and adaptation is the key to survival, that, I will always put in mind.

I want to break free from all the chain messages entering my cellphone like "Jesus luvs u. Pls pass dis to 20 pipol u know. Dnt ignore or u will have 20 days of bad luck." Duh! Messages like this are pure crap. God is not that shallow that he will give you bad luck just because you haven't forwarded a message to 20 people. Messages like this really boils my blood. So stop sending me one.

I want to break free from my disgust of watching Pinoy teleseryes because I'm starting to get hooked with Rubi! What is the matter with me? Does this mean that my taste for entertainment is starting to get low? Ummm... I don't think so. This is just a confirmation that I am indeed a pure-blooded Pinoy. Aside of course from my love for texting.

I want to break free from being a hopeless romantic dude. I am not Romeo because I know I will never have the courage to end my life just for love. Neither I am not a knight-in-a-shining-armor 'cause I don't even know how to ride a horse! Ha ha ha...

I want to break free from coffee addiction. God, my hands sweat like a river when I get excited even with little things (nervous reaction). And God, my sweat smells like coffee!

I want to break free from worrying what will I look like when I reach my fifties. Worries exaggerate wrinkles. He he he...

I want to break free from my fear of heights (acrophobia). I can't be like this when the time comes that I have to climb the Eiffel Tower. =)

I want to break free from the thought that the world is already crammed with nurses..... Only the Philippines! Ha ha ha...

I want to break free from the idea of dominating the entire world and making all humanities my minions someday. I don't wanna be like Alexander who became frustrated when there was nothing left to conquer for his empire because obviously, this world is getting smaller.

I want to break free from ranting too much. It gives me headache. Gotta get a tablet of paracetamol. Bye!

And oh by the way, HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY! MABUHAY ANG PILIPINAS!

The Proclamation

2010-06-09T14:48:00.009+08:00

Right now I am watching on national television the proclamation ceremony of presidential front-runner Benigno Simeon "Noynoy" Aquino III as newly elect president of the Republic of the Philippines. The ceremony is taking place at the Batasang Pambansa and attended by the members of the Senate and House of Representatives, important dignitaries and guests, and supporters. This event I must say is a historical one because Noynoy will be the first President elected through automation poll and because it will be for the first time that two members in a family became presidents of this nation. I am referring of course to the late former President Corazon C. Aquino, Noynoy's mother, Asia's saint of democracy. Further more, after the proclamation, Noynoy will be the first bachelor president of the nation which make it more interesting.

Although Aquino was not the candidate I voted last election, I am still happy with what is happening right now since he was my second bet. Who was the first? Guess it. Ha ha ha...

-oOo-

I just couldn't help laughing at this moment with Sen. Pimentel's humor while listening to his sponsorship speech. According to him, he's happy that the proclamation ceremony is holding in broad daylight and not in the witching hour of early morning in which only witches can witness. Is he referring to the previous proclamation of soon to be descending from the presidency, PGMA? Then he jokingly added that PCOS has now a new meaning and that is President Cory's Only Son. Ha ha ha... It seems that most politicians at this very moment are in good mood.

-oOo-

Finally, Noynoy has been proclaimed as President elect! Same so with Binay for the Vice President position. I wish both leaders, as they step next month to their respective positions, the best of everything. May God give them the wisdom, the will, and the strength in solving the problems of this country especially now that the nation's debt has already reached the amount of approximately 4.3 trillion. Whew! Good luck guys!

Hermes' Bad Day

2010-06-08T15:19:00.007+08:00

When I woke up this morning, everything seems ummm... beautiful and inspiring. The morning breeze was cold, the sparrows were chirping gaily outside, the appetizing smell of embutido was beckoning me to come at the table for breakfast, and my head was light (at lucid interval? lol!). It felt like nothing's gonna stop me for making it great today. Carpe diem! Or seize the day! As optimists always say as they open their eyes everyday.

I felt too energized that I could do all errands today with a bubbling spirit. With a touch of love. Naks naman! So when my dear Aunt asked me to put the half sack of rice in the Starex van before she left for the city (she just commuted) 'cause my uncle will going to pick it up, I did it with feet sprinting like that of Hermes, the Greek messenger god.

I first unlocked the van with the key then I headed back to the store room to get the rice without opening first the van's sliding door. I forgot to keep in my mind that the van will automatically close once it will not be opened within 10 seconds or so. And so here I was, carrying the half sack of rice back to the Starex, humming genially. When I opened the sliding door of the van forcefully and until now I don't know why I stupidly did that, maybe I was thinking that the door would slide easily, the handle cracked! Shit! The doors were locked! I immediately unlocked the door with the remote control key but of course it wouldn't still slide because the handle's lower part was already detached from the latch system. Damn!

I stood there frozen. My heart was beating way too fast. I broke the latch. I broke my seemingly perfect day before it had started to unravel. What will be my Aunt's reaction regarding this matter when she found out? Am I to be hanged later? Beheaded? Ugh!

Waiting for the verdict is like torture. It seems like with every tick of the clock, my life is slowly draining too. That's why I'm writing right now in this blog, my own way of releasing stress. Whatever will happen later, may the force be with me.

Another Labor Day

2010-06-06T13:12:00.005+08:00

Population control is such an issue here in the Philippines that a lot of groups, either pros or cons, are arguing regarding its morality and practicality. The religious groups, particularly the Roman Catholic Church, are against it if the means of controlling the spurt of population is through employing artificial contraception. The government on the other hand and other practical and liberated sectors are in favor with it regardless the natural or artificial way of contraception is used.

The Philippines is indeed a fast growing country when we speak about its population. As a third world nation, population explosion is a foreseeable problem that will take place in this archipelago in the near future according to experts since the supply or resources of this country is starting to become limited and will never be able to meet the demands of the millions of Filipinos propagating by the second. Furthermore, experts added that a day will come when thousands of mouths will not be able to eat anymore if the rate of the population's growth continue to be like what we have now.

While our government and I guess the rest of the authorities of the world are so preoccupied with controlling the population, some countries even came out with one-child policy, yours truly on the other hand and the rest of my minions, my fellow nursing students that is, are so worried that there might be no sufficient number of pregnant women who will deliver until the deadline for the application for graduation comes. Everyday, before reporting for DR duty, nursing students are praying to all saints existing since time immemorial and even resorted to wearing lucky charms such as charmed bracelets, charmed red underwear and bras, and even use charmed stethoscopes and thermometers (are there such things? LOL!) just to make sure that there will be a lot of delivery cases waiting for them at the labor room upon their arrival.

Nursing students like me who are assigned in the delivery room have only one thing that could make us grin wide up to our very ears and that is the sight of multiple women with protruding bellies, excruciating from the pain of labor contractions. It is like heaven for us. Our strange form of Nirvana. Yes, delivery scores! But if the labor room is empty, the feeling is like that of a lover whose heart is broken to pieces and trampled upon. Ouch! Not another boring or jinxed day!

DDR! Leaking of BOW. 10 cm. Crowning. Mount! Push! Clamp! Scissors! Uhaaaa... Uhaaaa.... These are some of the few words in the DR that makes our adrenaline rush into our bloodstream. The natural high. And after that, the mess! But it's ok, the mess is worth the happiness of seeing your name written next to actual deliveries handled, delivery assisted, or cord care.

But of course, it's not just all about getting scores, the most important thing is to care for your clients, to support them and their families physically, morally, psychologically, and spiritually. Making sure that childbirth is a meaningful and life-changing experience not just for the mother but for the rest of the family as well. Naks naman! Nurse na nurse ang dating!

I'll be having my completion duty tonight at Western Visayas Medical Center. I still have four handled deliveries for deficit. I hope I will be able to complete my number of DR scrubs tonight. So bye for now people and wish me luck in my another labor day! =)

A Cup Of Guilty Pleasure

2010-06-05T12:34:00.000+08:00

Coffee. One of the best things on earth that God has ever created. The real "elixir of life" for students, workaholics, and even for the common tambays like me. It is the liquid that runs in my system everyday, the fuel that propels me to move and kicks my neurons to work. I can even say that I can survive months with just it stirring in my stomach.

Everyday I consume at least 3 cups of coffee, maximum is 5. With the range of cups I drink everyday, I know it is not yet a form of addiction (Ows?) because I heard that there are some people who can even consume at least 8 cups on a daily basis (Whoah!). Denial is indeed always the form of defense mechanism addicts resort to... ha ha ha. Anyway, addiction or not, coffee is one guilty pleasure I could not easily surrender. It's a good thing there is no such thing as rehab for coffee addicts because if there is then I'll be damned. Three-fourth of the world's population will be damned! Ha ha ha...

Anyway, an instant for me will do but brewed coffee will always be an excellent choice and the best experience.

So, have a cup?

Here Comes The Rain Again

2010-06-02T08:53:00.008+08:00

Finally, the sky gods pitied us and urinated on our dried cracking earth! I am grateful to the heavens above because this past week, raindrops, though limited in amount, finally kissed our land denied of moisture for a very long time. I couldn't almost remember what the rain sounded like that it seemed like an alien thing hearing it dropping on the tin roof lately. Thank goodness that the cold front has started to visit us or else, not only will our lands go cracking and melt into lava in the future but our heads as well. (lol!)

The effects of the El Niño phenomenon were really devastating. Rivers, like our very own Tigum River, the main sources of irrigation for farm lands and likewise for households, were starting to dry up that harvests of staple crops such as rice and corn were too low. Bathing too became a rare thing for people due to the very limited supply of water reaching their homes. Sweat became the most common scent wore by everyone and sleeping at night became a torture due to poor ventilation and heat. I even saw 3 bodies of dead toads starting to desiccate outside our gate garden which I suspect died because of heat stroke. God bless those ugly yet harmless little creatures! But with much hope, I guess the torment brought by El Niño will finally come to an end since some parts of the country are starting to experience heavy rain lately. Wet days are here again! Or is it?

Well, if rainy season is indeed approaching, I might as well start creating a heavy-duty raft because here in the Philippines, there are only two things one must expect with the changing of the seasons: the lands will either crack or will turn into swimming pools! As for me, after months of utter dryness, I don't mind having a swim for a week.

My First Strange Encounter With A Jejemon

2010-06-01T11:19:00.011+08:00

Jejemon: 30hw p03h! MhÜz+4 p03h kh4u?

Me: Huh? Sin-o ni palihug?

Jejemon: 4ñ0 kh4 bh4 khÜ¥4! C j3r3£¥ñ p03h !+0. D mh0w bh4 n4z4\/3 4Ñg ñÜ # kh0w?

Me: Ano man? Indi ko ka-gets sang ginapangtext mo. Kay-ada abi. Sin-o ka haw?

Jejemon: Nh4k0w! C khÜ¥4 +4£4g4. \/3r¥ fÜññ¥! j3j3j3...

Me: Ambot sa imo! This is my last reply. Kung indi mo pagkay-adon ang reply mo, indi ta na ka pag-entertenaron.

Jejemon: khÜ¥4 +4£4g4, dh4w £h40ñ!!!

And I didn't reply for several minutes. This is a prank, I said to myself. People with nothing to do. Huh!

Jejemon: khÜ¥4, z+!££ dh3r?

Still ignored.

Jejemon: Cge na lng oi. Kuya, dis is jerelyn ur couzin. jejeje...

Me: Damn! Ikaw ni gali?! Ano tong ginapang text mo man? Kailinit ah, di ko kaintindi.

Jejemon: khÜ¥4 +4£4g4! z00 0Ü+ 0ph z+¥£3!!! j3j3j3...

Me: Ok that's it! Don't text me again until you're free from the demon that possesed you. Bye.

Jejemon: khÜ¥444444444444444444444444!!!!! jhÜ jhÜ jhÜ.....

The Road Of Selfishness

2010-05-11T20:21:00.001+08:00

The last time our small and simple town was featured in the national television as far as I can remember, it was 3 or 4 years ago in ABS-CBN TV Patrol World. The news program featured the bamboo festival of our town during that time, which is the Tultugan Festival. Again, the name of our municipality appeared on the television screen in the same news program but this time it is not to feature the beauty of our culture and tradition but because of the animosity and hostility displayed by some of the political candidates aspiring for positions in our town's local government.

The incident I am referring to was the blocking of the road leading to a certain barangay of our town in which it was known for its loyalty to the incumbent mayor, his family and party. The culprit for this move was the opponent candidate in which he is currently competing with the incumbent mayor's father for the mayoralty position of our town. The way was blocked days before the election with fences of cyclone wires surrounding a certain part of the road and to make it sure that it will not be passable, sharp debris of glasses and metals were planted on its surface. When the opponent candidate was interviewed by reporters why he did it, he answered Why not? The road according to him passes a certain portion of his land so he has therefore the right to do whatever he wants to do with it and that includes blocking it. The barangay, according to him, is the territory of his opponent so the people there doesn't deserve his generosity.

I am not a supporter of both candidates. So I will not be biased at least to say that what the other candidate had done, which was blocking the road, was totally an act of utter selfishness, desperation, and total disregard of the welfare of his fellowmen. It's a good thing that this candidate's true color flaunted just in time or else we will be having a chameleon for a mayor. A mayor whose main intention is not to serve his people but only to gratify his own self. I am disgusted with such an act and I am more ashamed that it was shown on national television.

The Election Souveiner

2010-05-10T20:21:00.008+08:00

The moment I arrived at the voting precinct I was listed this morning, I was surprised of the long line of voters queuing for their turn to cast their ballots (or have it scanned). I thought automation was supposed to speed up the voting process but how come this scenario suddenly existed? The reason given by COMELEC was that they clustered several voting precincts into one because of the limited number of PCOS machines. No wonder, a lot of eager voters were crammed in a single precinct. But despite of that, I still joined the queue of excited and anxious voters and patiently waited for my turn.

After almost half an hour of waiting, one of the facilitators (or watchers I think) beckoned me to enter the voting booth. The BEI scanned for my name in her list of voters and when she found my name (together with the black and white picture of mine), she had me signed it, gave me the ballot together with the secrecy folder and the marker pen. I went to a corner, fished for the list of candidates that I'll be voting inside my jean's pocket, had a quick look at the ballot, and started to shade. When I'm excited, my hands get too sweaty that I can wet a paper I'm holding in a matter of few minutes. That's why I really tried to carefully not blot the ballot with my sweat. This is a national matter of utmost importance, I said to myself smiling.

While shading, the song by Sexbomb Dancers kept on playing inside my head. May bilog... May bilog... na hugis itlog... It took me I think 5 minutes or more shading the oblongs beside the names whom I think will help salvage what is left of this country. And then after that, the moment had finally come, the scanning of my ballot. I went straight to the PCOS machine and I inserted my ballot. While the machine was scanning it, my heart was pounding like wild horses running to and fro. Then suddenly the machine's screen flashed that my ballot was rejected. I think all the blood in my face during that time suddenly went down to my legs. I couldn't believe it. I wasted my precious vote. There must be something wrong with the way I shade, I thought.

I stood there transfixed and shocked in front of the machine for several seconds but it was almost like an eternity. Then the BEI, sensing my foolishness, went to my direction and asked me to insert my ballot again in the machine but this time bottom first. I did what she asked and after waiting again, this time with canyons exploding in my chest, the machine's screen finally congratulated me because my ballot was accepted. I wanted to shout out of sheer gladness but of course, I held back my emotion. I didn't want to create a scene. He he he...

While riding a tricycle going home, still thinking of the wonders of poll automation and pondering what will going to happen tonight when all the votes are in, my attention was suddenly drawn to the thing I kept on twirling between my fingers. And then I realized that I had brought with me the marker with prints on its side that says: SMARTMATIC Technology To Serve All.

Making A List..... And Checking It Twice

2010-05-09T17:25:00.003+08:00

Tomorrow, the fate of this country will be decided by every Filipino eligible to vote. And tomorrow, history too will be made since it will be the nation's first automation poll. I can't deny the fact that I am excited since I will be a part of this great event and likewise a bit anxious since automation is a new thing for us. We certainly have no past experience about it and our authorities have no expertise to brag when it comes to this process. I know that as of this moment, a lot of Filipinos have questions too hovering in their heads like me. What if this election will be sabotaged by groups whose main agenda is to spread havoc and terror? Is it really possible for the system used in this automation to be hacked and thus cheating too? Are the people running the technical side of this forthcoming election, such as the PCOS technicians, members of the board of election, watchers and others, equipped enough with the knowledge on poll automation? Does the COMELEC has any back up or contingency plan when problems arise? Was the time spent to educate voters particularly those who are computer illiterate enough for them to understand the process of this brand new way of voting? So on and so forth. Here I am again, ranting like a paranoid. As I've said, poll automation is a new thing for us and fear is the dread for the unknown. We don't know what will be the outcome for tomorrow but then again, automation is the risk worth taking. A gamble we need to undertake if we wantto move forward to progress.

Poll automation, if become successful, can revolutionize the election process and create a drastic change in the way we elect our future leaders. First world countries such as the US are reaping the benefits of poll automation since it speeds up the election process and minimized or eradicate the possibility of cheating. Although I am praying that my chosen candidates will lead the race tomorrow, I am more fervent in praying that tomorrow's election will be a success. I am crossing my fingers to that but not after I make a list (and checking it twice) for the names I'll be shading the day after today.

Vote wisely!

To Carmen

2010-05-09T08:30:00.001+08:00

To the rose that blooms in the cold winter

To the wind that caresses my heart so tender

To the star whose light guides my way in the darkness

To the song that chases away my sadness

To the loving hand the touches my soul

To the woman who's been my all...

HAPPY MOTHERS DAY TO YOU NANAY!

YOU'LL BE IN MY HEART FOR ALWAYS 'TIL THE DAY I DIE.

Point And Click: Forseeing The Matrix Possibility

2010-05-07T09:26:00.001+08:00

Kids now a days are way too far different from the kids of the past. And when I say "kids of the past" I am referring to my generation --- the punk kids of the 80s! The specie of unique children who's fond of pop, punk, disco and rock music is unquenchable and whose adoration of Madonna, Boy George and Michael Jackson is undying not to mention of course the insatiable craving for totsie rolls and bazooka bubble gums! Ha ha ha...

Man, I miss the 80s, the decade where kids' recreational activities were simply playing with their Barbie dolls or GI Joes or soar their kites while basking in the hot afternoon sun. Of course tumbang preso, piko, patentero, rubber bands, marbles, and spider fights were also "in" during those days. Games in the 80s were not just physical but at the same time a mixture of wit and strategy. But those were the days. Now, children are playing in a playground build in an intangible world called the cyberspace. A world so interactive yet so unreal. A world where all you have to do is sit all day, focus your eyes on the screen until they hurt, and click click click the mechanical thing they called mouse. A routine of point and click!

My three preschooler cousins, all of them girls, are so addicted with online games in the internet that everyday it's their only form of exercise, that is, if you can call it one. Each girl has her own email and her own social site account on both Friendster and Facebook. With these social sites, they can access on games such as Farmville, Fishville, Mafia Wars, Pet Society, Social City, Tiki Island, Hospital Mayhem and many others. If internet connection is not available, they will resort to playing Zuma, Bookworm, or Plant Versus Zombies. Sometimes, they will access Youtube and watch whatever videos they find interesting (they love to watch and giggle on Justin Bieber's videos which makes me wonder how come these girls grow so fast!?). As I observed these kids facing the screen most of the day almost everyday, with the tendency to forget to blink while their hands maneuver the mouse as if hypnotized, I then concluded that marijuana is so outdated because this thing, the cyberspace, is very addicting to today's generation.

With the advent of the digital/cyber era, the lifestyle of most people around the globe has also changed dramatically. Information can now be easily accessed with just a snap of the fingers and of course communication is way too easy even when people are thousand miles apart. Entertainment, whether wholesome or age restricted, is now enjoyed by many at anytime and anywhere. The world has become small and connected in every way. But children, young as they maybe, are also greatly affected with the modern technology we have now. Instead of reading books or researching in the library, they'll just open Wikipedia on the internet, copy and then paste, and presto! Assignments are finished in just a few ticks of the clock. Instead of playing cats and dogs in the open space, chasing one another until they run out of breath, now they would rather sit in the front of the monitor, munch some chips, and play Counterstrike. Instead of planting flowers, now they opted more on playing Farmville. Digital trees, flowers, and vegetables seem more convenient to them and more fun since they grow fast without cultivating and watering. No sweat at all.

But what really is my point here? My point is, kids addiction with cyber technology particularly the internet has turned today's generation into a lazy, addicted, brand new version of couch potatoes. Getting their daily dose of radiation, slowly destroying their eyes, developing carpal tunnel syndrome, and turning themselves into an addle-brained creatures.

The internet actually is not a bad thing. Just like money it is neutral and it can be used for good or for bad purposes. It can either enslave you or you could be the master of it. I myself is very thankful for the internet. It makes my life easy and comfortable. It connects me with important people and those close to my heart without boundaries. Yet I make sure that it doesn't control me like a puppet. I make sure that the world depicted in The Matrix trilogy will not come into reality (but if it will do happen, can I play Neo's part? lol!). Lately, my Aunt is regulating the use of internet in the house with the kids and I am happy that my cousins are now occupied with other worthwhile things such as taking voice and piano lessons, likewise a crash course in swimming. For me, these are the things that children should spent their time and energy during summer and not on feeding virtual pets and watering digital plants that doesn't really exist in reality. Parents I guess should be responsible with their children's use of the internet. They must see to it that what their kids are browsing on the net doesn't turn them into cyber zombies. Parental guidance is the key.

While the punk kids of the 80s are still so preoccupied with what is happening in the real world, focusing their concerns on issues such as the recession of global economy, climate crisis, political events, and how to survive this cruel planet, the kids of Silicon Valley on the other hand are too busy wandering in the virtual world --- harvesting computer generated strawberries, fighting virtual dragons and zombies, poking other people's profiles, and watching endless videos and listening to endless sounds that could satisfy the senses. Addiction to cyber technology by today's generation must be controlled or else this world will end up one day where the color and the scent of a rose is just programmed to our brain by a super megacomputer for us to "sense" it. A future possible world where illusion is confused with reality. Sounds impossible but is there anything not possible nowadays? Tsk tsk tsk... I'm so into The Matrix. Ha ha ha...

Un-belly-vable!

2010-03-31T16:22:00.010+08:00

My waistline finally reaches its horrifying circumference and that is 33 centimeters. Who says 33 cms. is horrifying? Me! That's my limit when it comes to waistline circumference, beyond that is totally unhealthy and unsexy, and nobody should argue with me because I said so and this is my blog! So zipper your mouths dumb minions or off with your heads! (Insane laughter voiceover at this point.)

Before I decide what (desperate) measure I must do to stop this unacceptable future disfigurement, let me assess first the cause(s) of this condition, as any competent nurse will do, so that I will be able to formulate my nursing diagnosis and come up with the most effective interventions.

Assessment: Mind is always preoccupied with food and mouth is constantly, perpetually, and unstoppably munching anything that comes along its way. Carbohydrate-based foods are often consumed. The couch is always the place of comfort and exercise is definitely an alien concept in the vocabulary. Pants are starting to feel tight. Feeling of "unsexiness" often persists lately.

Diagnosis: Risk for possessing a bulging belly related to the deposition of adipose tissue in the strategic place of the abdominal cavity

Back to the main topic which is my starting-to-bulge belly, my problem is that I can no longer find my six-packed abs. As if they really exist. But anyway, even though those abs were just imaginary, I don't want flabs of adipose tissue (scientific term for fats, just to make this ranting of mine a bit technical, lol!) to occupy the space intended for my imaginary abs either. So this means that I have to act right now before it's too late. But that means that I have to undergo a strict diet program, right? And a tiring exercise everyday to burn carbs! That means less fun. Torture!

Then the hell with this bulging belly! If people will be disgusted looking at my protruding belly in the future, then don't look! I don't care. For me, there's nothing like a bar of chocolate melting in my mouth, nothing like the tingling sensation of sweet soda running in my esophagus, and nothing like a cinnamon roll filling my sense of smell while my mouth starts to water. From now on, I'll just embrace the adage that "beauty is skin deep" and just go on with the habit of MUNCHING! Ha ha ha... Adios!

Just Enjoy The Show

2010-01-30T19:23:00.003+08:00

May 2010 election is fast approaching and of course our running politicians for the different positions in the government are extremely busy that it made me wonder if they ever have time to blink. Election season in our country is, as ever before, like a fiesta. A raucous combination of colors, music, tag lines, promising speeches, and other gimmicks verging from seriousness to stupidity.

Lets start with colors. Using colors in campaign strategy is a good way of making an imprint to the minds of the people. It's all about association. Yellow, orange, green, blue, and all colors that Crayola could invent are now associated to a certain candidate or political party. Visual learning, such as the use of colors and shapes, are often used by kindergarten teachers in teaching kids effectively. It helps a lot in making a lesson retain in their mind. And this strategy is used by politicians in selling themselves to us since they know that we all act like kindergartens. Just kidding! (Naaah... not really.)

The music or better known as political jingles proliferating currently in the air are either exaggerated, absurd, funny, inspiring, or merely so so. One of these jingles that particularly caught my attention is the listeners if they have ever tried bathing in a sea of garbage? Or spending Christmas in the middle of the street? To answer the first one, I have never ever tried bathing in a sea of garbage and I have no plan to try it in the future either. Think of all the diseases you might get from those murky waters? About the second question, no I haven't tried spending Christmas in the street because you'll just end up with severed limbs (due to hit and run by reckless drivers) or with a hole in the belly (the favorite diversion of robbers, snatchers, addicts, etc.). Besides, with the current economic crisis, Christmas is treated like an ordinary day lately. Seriously, I know what the song is trying to convey. It is trying to ask us whether if we have ever experienced poverty in our existence in this cruel planet because the candidate who owns the jingle did (well, that's what he said). My God, do they still need to ask that? Here in the Philippines, we eat poverty for breakfast, problems for lunch, and misery for supper. And yeah, corrupt public leaders for dessert!

And then here comes the never ending barrage of promises. Promises so sweet to the ears like honey that it's nice to be drowned by them and get intoxicated.... until you developed political diabetes and die with bitterness that you were deceived by their treacherous tongues. Yeah, I may sound cynical but can you blame me for being so?

The forthcoming May 2010 election is very promising and historical. Promising in the sense that a lot of Filipinos, particularly the youth, are involving themselves in the campaign for an honest, peaceful, and conscience-driven election. Historical too because this election will the first time that COMELEC will be using automation for the counting of ballots. I just hope that there will be minimum technical problems with regards to the automation. Whatever will be the result of this election, lets just pray for the success of it. And with regards to the circus our politicians are putting up right now, throwing issues to one another and creating gimmicks here and there, all I could say is that just enjoy the show guys!

Concepcion and Delivery

2010-01-22T17:27:00.008+08:00

I went to Concepcion, Iloilo for 4 days just this week for my delivery room assignment in their rural health unit's birthing center and the experience was great. From Iloilo City, I think it took me and my 5 classmates 2 or 3 hours travelling on a bus towards our destination. I love travelling to the northern part of Iloilo province since you would be able to see the coastal area on the right side and the plains and mountains on the left. It felt so liberating just looking outside the bus' window.

The municipality of Concepcion was a rural type of town. Farming and fishing were the main industries of the locals there. What I liked about the place was that the folks were warm and congenial. We were heading to our quarters after our arrival at their bus terminal when two natives I met along the way flashed me with a friendly smile. I think I'll enjoy my stay here, I said to myself.

When we reported to the town's rural health unit, we were introduced to the RHU staff by our clinical instructor, Sir Andrew, and they welcomed us with sincere smiles. Dr. Minguez was the rural health physician and she was a simple yet graceful woman in her early forties if I'm not mistaken. We then took a tour around the RHU building including its birthing facility which was just a small structure constructed at the right side of the main RHU building. There, we stationed the first three of us until evening.

Despite its reputation as a "living university of family planning" in the country because of its successful programs in reproductive health and population control, we still got nine cases of successful deliveries all in all in our 4 days of stay there. Maybe we were just lucky or maybe we just prayed too much because we badly needed the cases in order for us to complete our number of scrubs required for us to be able to graduate and take the board exam. Although giving birth is a messy and painful process, we really enjoyed our duty there. Giving life is a great miracle and assisting a mother in labor and in giving birth is a wonderful experience. My clinical exposure in Concepcion made me feel that I was a part of those miracles. It overshadowed my need to complete my scrubs because of the sense of fulfillment. The fulfillment of being a part of this great circle called LIFE.

E.R.

2010-01-16T22:26:00.012+08:00

Emergency Room. My new area of assignment in my nursing clinical exposure for this year. I was supposed to be assigned in the female infectious ward but the assignment was dissolved for the reason that the risks are too high (as the name of the ward suggests). Our college is very concerned with the safety of its students. Ows? How touching! Anyway, I like the E.R. You'll never know what action and drama you'll gonna get. The adrenaline is most often high in the place but there are also times when it is like a silent room in which boredom suddenly lands on the E.R. people's shoulder. One time, during my previous assignments in the said area, I was pretending that I am George Clooney. All cameras were focused on me and I made up that I was in a medical drama series. A top-rating one. But when a bloody patient suddenly greeted us at the entrance and I suddenly froze to where I stood upon seeing it, the George Clooney persona in me instantly evaporated.

This is reality, I said to myself.

2010

2010-01-01T08:17:00.001+08:00

Happy New Year!

It's a brand new year. I have no resolutions only realizations. Realizations of how blessed I was last year. I thank God for all the courage and strength he gave last year to face and overcome all of life's trials and tests. I thank him too for the great things I have and that includes my family, friends, my studies, and the new avenues of life I am starting to travel.

2010 is the year of the metallic tiger according to the Chinese calendar. That means I have to be tough this year like a metal in facing life's everyday struggles and brave, fearless and graceful like a tiger in everything I do.

Once again, a prosperous new year and be careful from all those firecrackers! God bless us all.

Happy Fiesta

2009-12-30T09:47:00.001+08:00

Happy annual fiesta to all my fellow Maasinanons! Happy Jose Rizal day too! I hope you guys grooved with the beat of the bamboos yesterday 'cause Tultugan was fun. Ciao!

Christmas Thoughts

2009-12-25T15:16:00.003+08:00

It's Christmas. I am happy and I don't know why. Maybe because of the festive air, the sight of the left-over foods prepared last night still plenty and looking inviting at the table, the beautiful Christmas decorations surrounding the house and the neighborhood, the cold breeze blowing on my face, or simply because of the thought that people right now are in the mood for generosity. Whatever the reason might be, what matters is I'm happy. At least for now.

I miss my mother and my brothers but I know that they miss me too most especially in this yuletide season. My mom called me last night and greeted me Merry Christmas and somehow I found it enough. They couldn't come to where I am now since they are missionary workers assigned to different places for the Lord, who's birthday we are celebrating today, and it's ok. What is important is that they are happy with what they are doing and that they are blessed everyday by the Creator.

Today is the supposed birthday of Jesus Christ although we know that Bible scholars and historians really don't have the authentic account of the exact date of his birth. Christmas was actually a pagan celebration in origin turned into a Christian event after the sprout of Catholicism in Rome to honor Christ. That was, until now. Because in this digital age, Santa Claus is the new star of Christmas, replacing Jesus Christ. You'll see the big bellied man with immaculate beard and red suit perpetually everywhere during Christmas. From decorations to greeting cards, from shirts to apparels, and from movies and to commercial ads. He is even drinking a bottle of Coke in one advertisement! What is saddening is that little kids are more familiar with Santa rather than Jesus, in fact, they associate Christmas with the former and with the gifts he bring. The icon of everlasting life was replaced by the icon of commercialization in this modern world. A very terrible deception.

I got to go. The foods on the table are beckoning me to come. Ha ha ha...

Happy nativity day Yeshua!

Poetry In Action

2009-12-22T12:09:00.006+08:00

I had my completion duty this morning in the delivery room. It is called completion duty because it is a special scheduled duty, that means that it is not included in the regular rotation schedule our clinical coordinator gives us student nurses. Since I don't have any assignment in the delivery room this semester and graduation is fast approaching (and my delivery scrubs, 15 cases are needed, are not yet complete), I have no choice but to have my completion duty. Of course, to have a special schedule in the delivery room, we student nurses must pay. Two thousand pesos per day and we usually divide it into three since three students are needed per delivery cases for the assist, handle, and baby or cord care. Quite expensive but we have no choice because we really want to graduate this March 2010.

Having my duty in the delivery room is always been an adrenaline rush to me and likewise a wonder. Adrenaline rush because from the start of full crowning, that means that the baby's head is already bulging in the cervix, up to the complete expulsion of the baby, every tick of the clock is always an action, from monitoring to assiting the mother, just to ensure the safety of both mother and child. Birthing is also a wonder to me because it makes me ponder how life is created, the process of it is truly a miracle. It makes me appreciate the pain (the episiotomy and sometimes the laceration... ouch!) and sacrifices of mothers, especially of my mom.

One thing I like about the institution where I had my delivery scrubs is the policy of having the baby contact with the mother's skin for at least one hour. The rationale according to my clinical instructor is to establish a loving maternal-child rapport and for the baby to adapt faster to its new environment. Oh the smile of the mothers upon holding their babies close to their bossom. Truly a beautiful sight.

Well we had two delivery cases this morning and I'm happy because at least we went home not being zero. I thank God for giving me the opportunity to witness and participate in birthing cases. For me, birthing is like a poetry that is unique because it combines the beauty of agony, happiness, and ordinary miracle of life. From the wail of a sweating suffering delivering woman to the graceful movement of the baby during the mechanisms of labor up to its very first cry, everything in birthing is indeed a poetry in action.

Labor is not easy, it's painful, messy, and sometimes embarassing knowing that you are exposing your genitalia to the world. That's why I salute all the mothers out there. Hats off.

The Diary Of The Half-Deaf Man

2009-12-21T20:19:00.004+08:00

Dear Diary,

2 weeks ago, I was infected with the notorious Staphylococcus pneumoniae which resulted to upper respiratory problems such as sore itchy throat and runny nose. The culprit, not contented with its colonization of my upper respiratory tract, descended further down to my lungs causing havoc to the said organs and produce flu like symptoms such as fever and generalized body malaise and eventually resulted to pneumonia.

At first, I didn't mind these for the reason that I was so busy with so many activities and I thought my immune defense is strong enough to do its job. But that was my fall because the infection ascended to my left ear causing otitis media or inflammation of the middle ear, giving me a feeling of fullness on the left side of my head and the inability to hear fully. Before things get worst, I consulted a physician and I was prescribed with Co-Amoxiclav (a combination of amoxicillin and clavunate acid), a mucolytic, and a decongestant.

Up to now, I still cannot hear fully or clearly and it irritates me. Why?

Because my friends tease me as "Romerei The Deaf".

Because I can't hear what people are whispering behind my back.

Because I can't enjoy listening to new music such as Alicia Key's The Element of Freedom album.

Because when an acquaintance of mine greeted me this morning in the mall with "Advance Merry Christmas Rom", all I could hear was a mumbling sound. I had to let him say it again before I understood what he was trying to say. It was very embarassing.

Because every time I lay at night in bed, I feel like I am swimming sidelying (in my left side of course), because of the pressure ringing in my left ear.

Because its the Yuletide season and I want to hear the carols, the fireworks, and the Christmas noise.

Because I just can't picture myself wearing a hearing aid. That is too "geriatric-ish"!

With this, my only wish this Christmas is for me to be cured and bring my hearing back to its normal level of functioning. And Santa, no hearing aid please.

Sincerely yours,
ROMEREI

Kapres vs Shrek, Bampiras vs Edward, Taong Lobos vs Jacob

2009-12-03T20:10:00.007+08:00

The world is indeed changing in every tick of the clock. Change is the only thing constant in this world, they say. With this inevitable fact, it is saddening to realize that while the rest of the world, particularly the well-developed nations, are moving forward toward progress, we on the other hand are left behind with our obsolete technolgies and way of life.

Even in the paranormal world, change is also becoming more evident. And what is depressing is that only the mystic creatures, most of them are the antagonistic ones, of the first world countries are having the change of heart (and image too!). Let me enumerate them one by one and compare them with our own local paranormal creatures who are until now still haven't updated themselves with the latest trends:

1. While our kapres here are still smoking dried banana leaves (sometimes dried marijuana too but the number of plantations in our country just wont suffice their demands), still sport that long unshampooed hair and mustache and beard filled with lice, wear that caveman-cut piece of cloth (that is, if you can call it a cloth because it looks like a quilt of old rugs), and eat small children who happened to wander in their balete abode, the ogres of Europe on the other hand are becoming more refined and more hygienic in their ways. This started with the revolution led by the chivalric Shrek. Now European ogres are not only pleasant-looking but are also music lovers as they love to groove with Bahamen's Who Let The Dogs Out, Madonna's Like A Virgin, and emote to Stevie Wonder and the rest of the gang's That's What Friends Are For.

2. Blood sucking is no longer the sole business of the vampires of the Old and New World. They have recently diverted their attentions to literature by writing books, such as in the case of Lestat and Louise, fashion by wearing expensive designer's clothes, such as in the case of Daniel and Armand, and slaying other vampire menace (a noble humanitarian act) such as in the case of Blade. Aside from that, they have also mellowed, became more romantic, and invested much for their looks like what the metrosexual vampire Edward Cullen did. Now, most male vampires are like candies to the eyes of teenage girls who have no idea that their menstruation could be the fall of these handsome and irresistible creatures of the night. Meanwhile, our very own bampiras are still sleeping on old, rusty and mold-smelling coffins. They have no idea that they could live on classy and hi-tech condo units and act like members of the elite society. They're still confined in their dilapidated mansions which are now subject to demolition by the government. Their cousins, the mananaggals, still suffer the shame of flying with severed torsos and hanging insides. They still haven't find out how to fly "wholly" and therefore, save their dignity. Poor them.

3. Our taong lobos are currently suffering from rabies and scabbies outbreak. They were indignant upon hearing the masa saying that they now look like the common askals in the street which are known to eat shit (ews!). But jealousy sparked within the pack lately upon the release of the new Twilight Saga movie titled New Moon. The taong lobos, after watching the said blockbuster movie, were so envious upon seeing the well-sculpted body of the werewolf Jacob! They never knew that lycantrophy could be so sexy. The good thing is, most of the taong lobos are now in the gym doing crunches, cardio, and other forms of exercises that will help develop their biceps, triceps, chest, and of course, the six-packed abs! Thanks to Jacob!

4. The Philippine Association of Mangkukulams and Mangbabarangs (PAMM) are currently holding a convention at Mt. Pinatubo with the theme: Time For A Cool Change. The theme was inspired from the song Cool Change by the Little River Band which is a way for the said organization to address the challenge of recreating their image into something stylish, slick, and more wholesome to the masa. According to them, while they are living their hermitical life in ramshackle bahay kubo in remote areas, concocting horrible-smelling herbs and roots, using goo goo dolls made of rugs and rusty needles, and wearing tattered cheap clothes and sporting unwashed, fly away, and split-end filled hair, their counterparts in the US and most countries in Europe are enjoying the fame and popularity of being pretty college girls, fashionistas, and sex objects to bachelors. Examples are Prue, Piper, Phoebe, and Paige or the Charmed Ones, Willow of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and of course Sabrina the teenage witch. PAMM's current convention have Heidi Klum, Tyra Banks, and Vera Wang as one of the speakers in their line up. More power to the bruhas!

Despite of our local supernatural creatures' being jologs and outdated, some of them are trying their best to keep with the pace. Thanks to Imang, the kampanerang kuba, she made our supernatural kababayans proud. It's not only that Igor had changed his image, sounded like John Cusack, and released an animated film, Imang also took the challenge by starring on a telenovela in a primetime slot and transforming to Anne Curtis-like visage and body. Whew! Pinoys never really know the word "surrender" because we always strive to reach for our goals and be recognized. Now that Charice Pempengco and Arnel Pineda are making noise in the international scene, the kapres, bampiras, manananggals, taong lobos, and mangkukulams are aiming to make it global. Good luck guys!

Inventing A Hero, Heralding A Hero

2009-11-30T21:09:00.008+08:00

Today is Bonifacio Day, the day marked red in our calendars to honor Andres Bonifacio, the Great Plebeian according to our local historians. The day students from elementary to college also celebrate since they will have more time to watch tv or go malling. But what do we really know about Bonifacio? Well, our teachers in elementary, particulary in the subject Sibika at Kultura, taught us over and over again the following things about the man:

He was born in Tondo, Manila.
He came from a poor family.
His father and mother died while he was still 14, forcing him to stop schooling and became the breadwinner for his younger brothers and sisters.
He made canes and paper fans, which he sold in the streets, for living.
Because of low income, he supplemented his studies through reading a lot and self-study.
He read Rizal's novels, Victor Hugo's Les Miserable, and the lives of the presidents.
He married Gregoria de Jesus.
He founded the Katipunan and presided the Tejeros Convention.
He was executed by Aguinaldo's men at Cavite.

These are the facts about Andres Bonifacio that long time ago, when I was still wearing my porontong and watching Voltes V and AstroBoy, I memorized by heart. But what if the things we know about Bonifacio were all bogus and were just fabricated by our early historians? What if the qualities and facts attributed to Bonifacio were all just invented?

American professor of history Glenn Anthony May wrote in his book titled Inventing A Hero: The Posthumous Re-creation of Andres Bonifacio that our historians have committed the crime of misleading the younger generation of Filipinos by reconstructing and cleaning Andres Bonifacio's image, making him an ideal hero which would eventually promote nationalism among Filipinos. He supported his claim by challenging the authenticity of Artigas and de los Santos' accounts about the Supremo's life in which the latter two indeed failed to prove their accounts as genuine since they haven't cited even a single source for their information.

If this is true, then who really was the man in whose statues we erected in our plazas? Sounds like very Da Vinci Code-ish, isn't it? This is the challenge for our present day historians: refute what May claimed Bonifacio was!

-oOo-

Speaking of heroes, our very own Efren Penaflorida was awarded by CNN as Hero of the Year for his dedication and passion to educate our unfortunate fellowmen through his mobile classroom which he called as "Kariton Klassroom". Efren is one of the unsung heroes which was recently noticed by international institutions such as CNN because of his selfless humanitrian act. His deeds are inspirations for other Filipinos, including yours truly. But sad to say, a lot of personalities as of the moment, most of them politicians, are now riding the band wagon of Penaflorida's success and popularity. Of course, the government will not be absent from the scene. Instantly, upon Penaflorida's arrival, they honored him the Order of Lakandula Award. If they have honored Penaflorida prior from heralding him as Hero of the Year by CNN, people won't give any color of malice to it. But now, I think it's too late. Philippine politics --- very lousy.

Senseless Killings

2009-11-26T20:51:00.013+08:00

The Maguindanao massacre was a wanton act of violence done by men without a residue of conscience left to themselves. As innocent people's dead bodies were recovered, everyday increasing in number, it makes me ponder why people would kill mercilessly just for the sake of power. The political system of this country has already succumb to the quagmire of corruption, deception, and violence; I just hope that our justice system is not, that its integrity is still intact and that it is still an institution where justice, especially for those lives waisted in this heinous incidence, is served.

I condemned the violence that took place in Maguindanao. I hope that the government will make sure that justice will prevail. As for us concerned citizens of this country, we will never close our eys nor shut our mouths regarding this issue.

-oOo-

May the souls of those who passed away in this massacre rest in peace and may justice prevail.

"Iiiiiii....... Cheeeee...... Creeeyam..... Fooor.... Saaaa.... Leeee...."

2009-11-14T21:39:00.025+08:00

Today marks the first day of our formal in-house review for the Nursing Licensure Exam. This is one of our school's programs in trying to enhance our examination performance in the much dreaded board exam. Although at first I have qualms about it, beacuse I think the school must focus first on improving its instructional method of the curriculum in the classrooms, I was eventually convinced that it is necessary at the end because there were some topics discussed during the first session of the review that were not taken in our regular classroom lectures (or maybe they were discussed in our classroom lectures but I wasn't just listening because my teachers were kinda boring... har har har).

Our first lecturer, his name was Mark, tackled about Community Health Nursing. He opened his lecture by introducing to us a secret "Latin chant" which according to him will help the chanter fulfill his heart's desire, in our case, to pass the board exam. And so we chanted together while holding each other's hands. The cryptic Latin phrase that our lecturer taught us sounds like this: "Iiiiii...... Cheeee..... Creeeyaaam.... Foooor..... Saaaa..... Leeeee....."

As I close my eyes, chanting the words, I was thinking what the phrase meant. When I looked at my right, I could even see mommy Liezl, one of my classmates that is close to me, teary-eyed! Everybody in the cinema (our venue was in SM City Digital Cinema 1) felt the surging of an unknown eerie force. Goosebumps crept all over our body. Suddenly, we felt that we became the center of the universe in the metaphysical world!

"Iiiii..... Cheeee..... Creeeeyam..... Foooooor..... Saaaa.... Leeeee....." On and on we chanted and hummed. Then it entered my mind. For Sa Le? Sounds like FOR SALE? I listened more attentively. Creeeyam? Hmmm.... Am I hearing the word CREAM here?

And then, all of a sudden, I was disconnected to the LIGHT because finally I realized that after all this time, all I was chanting was nothing but the phrase : ICE CREAM FOR SALE!

I was deceived! And we couldn't help but laugh to the max of our stupidity!

When we were all settled down, the lecture began. I was thinking it would be a boring lecture since Community Health Nursing (CHN) is a boring subject to most student nurses, but I was wrong. It turned out that our lecturer knew how to keep the lecture alive by throwing out jokes and likewise by "casting a curse" that if we won't listen and participate with him, we won't be able to pass the 2010 board exam until 2020, which we took seriously inspite of knowing that it was just a pure joke. "Lahat talaga ay gagawin n'yo ano para lang makapasa sa board exam kahit na patuwadin pa kayo?!" Exactly!

Our lecturer insisted that if he will say an important word or concept, we should repeat it loudly at the top of our lungs. At first, I was annoyed by it because I felt like I returned back to my elementary years but at the latter part of the lecture, I found out that listening to lectures or instructions and repeating the concepts over and over again helped me retain it without even exerting much effort. Another thing, Sir Mark, also used pnemonics to simplify and breakdown novel-like concepts of nursing and it work. By using pnemonics, memorization and even understanding complex ideas and knowledge in nursing were made easy. "That's why nursing is also an art because we find ways to make it easy and fun through innovations," remarked Sir Mark.

I also noticed while the review was going on that our lecturer was fond of letting us recite over and over again, from time to time, the line: "I can do it, I can make it, I will pass the board exam! And be the number one!" The line at the end had finally became a mantra in the whole cinema that I could even mumble it during my sleep. We were like little children in a pre-school class. We were like fools. But I know it was not foolishness. I can understand the principles behind it. It was the principle of the power of the spoken words, the principle of affirmation, the principle of centering, and the principle of attraction. The Bible taught us about it, ancient philosophers and great men relayed it to us, and even present philosophical scholars like Paulo Coehlo and Rhonda Byrne talked about it. So I bought it. I joined the chorus everytime Sir Mark let us say it aloud.

At the end of the lecture, we sat there for almost 8 hours and we didn't even noticed time passed us by so quickly, our brains were refreshed and discovered new techniques in studying. Our hearts too were filled with laughter with all the intellectual and nasty jokes our lecturer shared, and our spirits were strengthened with the conviction that we will be able to face the challenges of taking the board exam in the future with boldness and confidence. I just hope that this good experience we had will be sustained until the end of our in-house review. And I know that God will always be there for us.

P.S. Whenever we say something stupid and funny, our lecturer called us DUGYOT. At first I was thinking what dugyot mean and so I searched for it on the net. I found out that it was a Pinoy slang for poor hygiene practice. Ha ha ha! Si Sir MArk talaga, dugyot! Toinks!

Just A Thought

2009-10-10T10:46:00.006+08:00

We often times ask ourselves, conciously and unconciously, of the purpose of our existence in this planet. And because we don't have the answers to this philosophical question directly, we usually resort to finding ourselves on avenues less traveled. Often times too, we get frustrated because we only get more lost in these winding roads. Confusing us more and leaving us bitter with life.

Lately, I have learned that we don't really find ourselves somewhere -- we create it! God has given us the power to design our beings both outwardly and inwardly, and he has given us the ability to define ourselves by granting us the freedom to choose the things that will define our very existence. Therefore, we are not bound by fate, we shape it. With this, it also follows that happiness depends on our own choosing. Misery only comes when one becomes tired of striving to be happy. I want to be happy, contented, and peaceful, and with perseverance, faith and hope, I know that sooner I will be.

Amen.

The Fury Of Mother Nature

2009-09-27T21:48:00.004+08:00

The destruction caused by Typhoon Ondoy in the Philippines, particularly in the National Capital Region and most parts of Luzon, displayed the unrelenting fury of mother nature. The catastrophe was akin to what happened during the Ormoc flash flood that claimed thousands of lives. It was very devastating and horrifying that even those who survived the sudden rise of rain water are until still trying to pacify their hearts and minds up to now with regards to the trauma they experienced.

One of the most interesting facts about Typhoon Ondoy is that it poured down heavy rain for about nine hours which according to PAG-ASA was equivalent to the amount of rainfall received by a certain area for one month! For example in Quezon City, it poured down about 455 mm of rain in 24 hours, breaking the record of Hurricane Katrina which only brought 250 mm of rain in New Orleans.

As I watched the news on the tv, the scene of people carried away by the flood, of homeless families settling on gyms, schools, and other public facilities without sleeping mats, blankets, and food to eat, of individuals grieving for their lost properties and love ones, and of the destruction that costs millions, it really breaks my heart that all of these things happened. Don't we have handful of problems already to deserve this kind of tragedy? This is the question addressed to God that I guess is ranting in our minds right now.

Sometimes, when the tragedy is massive and the pain brought by that tragedy is too much for us to bear, it is easy for us to raise our heads and ask God WHY? We are so consumed with our miseries that we failed to acknowledge our contributions to the realization of these tragedies that come into our lives. Most of the time, we create our own disasters and Typhoon Ondoy is one of these. Typhoon Ondoy is the classic example of the catastrophies that will inflict destruction to mankind brought about by climate change. We are just reaping the deeds we sow, the harmfull things we do to mother earth. The small negligence we did, like throwing of candy wrappers and cigarette buts everywhere, and the massive things we performed, like illegal logging and convertion of virgin forest into agricultural and industrial lands, have finally brought us this. No one to blame but us, citizens of this abused planet.

Reactive: Let us help our fellow brothers and sisters in Luzon. Let us donate and contribute whatever we can. Whether in cash or in goods, all these things will at least help alleviate their sufferings right now. Let us help rebuild not just their homes but likewise their spirits, their lives. Through thick and thin, I know we Filipinos will be able to survive this disaster because it is always been our nature to help and hold on to one another in times of crisis. God is always there for us.

Proactive: One of the lessons that this experience taught us is the law of cause and effect. We have abused mother nature because of our ambition for industrialization, now the consequences of our actions have brought us harm. With the same mantra our environmentalists rant, I will say it again: Let us plant more trees, recycle, maintain cleanliness, use technologies that are ecofriendly, conserve energy, and advocate in saving and preserving nature. Let us not wait for another catastrophe such us Typhoon Ondoy to wake us up. Now is the time to act. Remember that an ounce of prevention is better than a pound of cure.

O.R.

2009-09-12T09:17:00.019+08:00

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to my first exposure in the operating room! Brace yourselves as you are about to witness the bloopers of a first-timer OR student nurse!

8:30 PM, The day before my exposure. I couldn't eat. I felt nervous. My palms were sweating with the thought of seeing the insides of a human being the next day. Gross.

9:41 PM. I watched some procedures in YouTube -- ExLap, Bone Traction, Apendectomy, etc. and one thing's for sure, they are all messy and gory.

12:01 AM, The fated day. My eyes were closed but my mind wouldn't left me to peace. I couldn't sleep. I had fears. What if I wouldn't be able to identify the right surgical instruments the surgeon will be asking for? What if I would mistakenly handle to him the Kelly instead of the Mayo? I heard rumors about mean doctors throwing the wrong instruments to the nurse who handed those things to them. Ouch!

2:00 AM. I was banging my head on the pillow. "Sleep, why has deserted me?"

3:00 AM. My consciousness finally drifted to oblivion. ZZZZZZZZZZ...

3:38.65 AM. I dreamed of eating a human brain topped with pineapple slices, mayonnaise and ketchup. In the dream, I was Hannibal Lecter's long lost son. Growl!!!

4:30 AM. The built-in circadian clock in my brain alarmed. Can I change the alarm tone the next time around? Huh!

4:42 AM. I took a bath but the nervousness was not washed away. It grew!

5:10 AM. Breakfast. I ate rice, hotdogs, and fried eggs. I also had a cup of coffee. No human brain, intestines, or liver in sight. Thank goodness.

6:oo AM. I was waiting for the jeepney. Two malnourished dogs were copulating at my side. A hillarious diversion!

7:05 AM. I arrived at Western Visayas Medical Center. My heart was pounding too loudly that I never heard the greetings of my colleagues. The drum in my chest sounded like the beat of war dance.

8:00 AM. The torture of waiting. Our clinical instuctor was alrady one hour late.

8:15 AM. Our clinical instructor arrived. There's someting about his smile, it kinda looked sinister.

8:17 AM. We entered the operating room. Welcome to the chamber of gore and messiness.

8:30 AM. "Mr. Macarse, you scrub now." That was my first cue. My God, I almost forgot the proper way of scrubbing. "Wait, is this the right glove or the left?" My neurons are disintegrating! My brain was trying to retrieve all of the principles of asepsis. System overload...

8:45 AM. Major operation. Exploratory Laparotomy. I was the instrument nurse.

Surgeon: "First knife..... second knife....." (Shit, my hands were shaking!)

Surgeon: "Kelly forceps...." Me: "Come again doc?" Clinical Instructor: "Hand it correctly mister or I will spank your hand!" (Pak! And he did.)

Slash... slash.... swish.... swish.... So that was how our insides looked like. Hmmm... Thank goodness I didn't faint but nobody knows that my legs were shaking underneath! Ha ha ha...

Me (Thinking): So this is how surgery looks like, exposing your insides to a bunch of people you don't actually know..... Letting a person who calls himself as the surgeon excavate your cavities while he hums to the tune of Lady Gaga's Poker Face..... And I don't even know why he hums that tune when the music playing on the background is The Verve's Freshmen.

10:15 A.M. Surgeon: "Lets close this and lets go grab some coffee and buns."

Me: "Hallelujah!" I was exhausted that after I took off my gloves, gown, and other protective apparels, I absent-mindedly took a seat at a nearby stretcher.

Clinical Instructor: "What are you doing mister? Get off your butt and scrub! You will going to assist in OR 4!"

Me: "Right away sir!"

Clinical Instructor: "And please, stop shaking like a vibrator!"

Me (Thinking): Grrrrrrrrrrr.....

The Saint Of Democracy

2009-08-03T17:32:00.003+08:00

At 3:18 am, August 01, 2009, at the age of 76, the 11th President of the Republic of The Philippines, Corazon Cojuangco Aquino, died due to respiratory arrest complication brought about by colon cancer.

I was six years old when I often heard the name "Cory" from the lips of the adults particularly my parents. All I know back then was that she was famous since her favorite color which was yellow became the color of my upper school uniform in my kindergarten school. But aside from that, my young mind could no longer digest what the lady named "Cory" has done for our country.

I was in my elementary years when I got a full grasp of Cory's role, mission, and ordeals in restoring our debilitated country back to its former healthy shape. It was during these years that a lot of coup attempts surfaced and since my father was a military man, these issues were often brought up especially during meal time, though my father did not participated on such coup attempts. It was pity that I felt for Cory during those times of tribulations since how could a meek and soft-spoken woman retort to uniformed men with guns and tanks?

Corazon Aquino may not be the great president during her rule for the country's economy was still on the quagmire of impoverishment and the instability of the country's political system often created an air of insurgency. But in my humble opinion, who would be the right person to take the position of presidency during those dark times? I think the late former president Aquino was the one most fit since her integrity was untainted, her faith was firm, her honesty was unquestionable, and her love for the people and country was radiating. She served as the light of the country in its moment of gloom.

Cory, until her final moment, taught us that we don't have to resort to harshness and violence just to win the ideals we are fighting for. She taught us that the best way to win a battle is through humility, faith, and sincere love for others.

I am lucky I was able to live during Cory's time. At least I could share something to the future generations some tidbits about this heroine. If ever someone will ask me when I grow old what can I say about Corazon Aquino, I would say "She was the only woman, aside from my mother of course, that really exemplified the phrase GRACE UNDER PRESSURE."

I would like to pay tribute to the late Corazon Aquino, who fought for the freedom of this country, who lived her life for the Filipino people, and for unifying us all. She is indeed the saint of democracy.

This Is Not Your Television Drama Show

2009-07-12T23:57:00.003+08:00

When will the drama ends? Whose heart shall be crushed to pieces? Will friendship stays the same? Or will it become a memory of the past?... Love... Lies... Desertion... Pain...

Childhood and MJ

2009-07-12T12:55:00.007+08:00

I haven't read a children's book for a long time since the Harry Potter series until now. I have just finished reading The Thief Lord by Cornelia Funke and well, the book was good. A kind of book that will help you pass through the night and drowse you to sleep and be a child again in your dreams, wandering in strange places you're not familiar with. Actually, I didn't have the intention to read the book, because aside from the fact that I have no time lately for leisure reading, the book reminds me of a painful memory. It was given to me as a gift by my ex. But that was already a long time ago, I guess it's time for me to move on so there it was, I flipped the pages and I read from cover to cover. I was surprised because I didn't feel anything at all upon perusing the book every night. Maybe I have moved on indeed. And I am happy.

The book by the way tackles about childhood. As a child, how we have often wished to grow and become adults faster. Why? Because we wanted to do things our own way without grown ups having a scrutinizing eye on us, telling us what and what not to do. We wanted to be independent, to have an autonomy in every aspect of our lives. We wanted to be the masters of our own decisions, of whatever path we choose to travel. But it is also very ironic that as adults, how we sometimes wish that we could go back to being a child and remain as one, just to escape all the hardships and perils we face everyday. We wanted to be free-spirited, carefree, naive, and innocent again. Free from all the worries that makes this world seem chaotic, harsh, and cold. Scipio and the Conte are the two charcters in the story that represents these contrasts: the struggle to gain independence and autonomy, and the longing of the innocence lost.

I think what Ms. Funke is trying to say in this story is that childhood is like a precious vessel that once broken, it could never be put back again into its original form. It's beauty is destroyed forever. So enjoy it while innocence still holds back the pieces of childhood together. For regrets is a bitter thing of the future.

-oOo-

I would like to pay tribute to Michael Jackson, the king of pop, the man who changed the face of pop music in the whole world, and the man who never enjoyed his childhood. May he rest in peace. His music and legacy will live forever. Amen.

A Letter From A Mama's Boy (In This Special Day for Mothers)

2009-05-10T23:00:00.005+08:00

Dear Nay,

Words cannot express how deeply I am thankful for having you as my mother. You've been, since the beginning of my existence, the stirring force of my evolution. I am what I am now, a strong and good person, because of you.

Nay, thank you for being the firm pillar to support me in times of my weaknesses, failures, and frustrations. Thank you for believing in me when others started to loose their faith. You said that you will always be my number one fan and every time I think of that, it never fails to make me smile.

Thank you too nay for all of your sacrifices, for the tears and sweats you have shed for us. For me, they were like pearls suspended and glittering in the dark sky. You shall always be my inspiration, my strength, and my endless river of hope. Thank you for the love and for trying to bring me closer to the Creator who gave you to me. You are my superwoman nay!

I know I have said these phrases to you a millions times, but still my heart won't get tired to say these to you over and over again that "I LOVE YOU" and that "YOU SHALL ALWAYS BE IN MY MEMORY FOR AS LONG AS I LIVE".

Happy Mothers Day Nanay Carmen! God bless you always.

Jim

To Nanay

2009-05-03T03:31:00.003+08:00

I just would like to thank nanay for teaching me over and over again how faith works. You're right nay, God indeed knows how to put everything in the right time and the right place. Thank you for your patience. Your sacrifices are greatly appreciated. You will always be my great inspiration. I love you nay.

Just Dropping By

2009-04-20T10:12:00.002+08:00

Duty days are here again...

First Rotation: West Visayas State University Medical Center

Got to go! God bless us all.

The Phoenix Shall Rise Again

2009-04-16T20:58:00.014+08:00

Broken (Once Again)

2009-04-16T16:13:00.004+08:00

It hurts so bad to think that the people who gave you hope and inspiration are the ones who will take it back away from you. They gave you wings to fly only to shoot you down in return. This is what I am going through right now. This is what I feel. I almost returned my faith back towards life, but now, it's broken again to pieces. I do not know if I will be able to heal myself this time and make my spirit whole because the wound is just too deep that it penetrates my soul. I am confused and hurting as of the moment. The pain in my heart is killing me. But I am still clinging on to hope desperately for the sake of those people who still love me and believe in me.

God Is Dead?

2009-04-10T19:39:00.007+08:00

I was six or seven when I started to notice that my mother often ordered me to settle when I became restless and playful every Holy Friday. I was also not allowed to shout, laugh loudly, and even go out from the house during this day of the year. When I innocently asked my mother why, she answered me saying: "Because today, evil spirits are roaming around, and they are so vicious that they will try to harm you if you will be noisy, fidgety, and if you will not stay here inside the house..."

"And why are evil spirits roaming today nay?" I inquired.

With a seemingly mortified face my mother replied, "Because today son, God is dead..."

My initial reaction upon hearing those words was of course shocked. I went to one corner and pondered on the thought that at that moment, God was not in heaven but buried underneath the earth. But what or who killed God? This was the next question hanging on my thought at that time but I didn't bother to ask more my nanay fearing that I might annoy her and she'll send me to bed for the afternoon siesta.

Of course when I turned into an adult later on, I found out that this idea is not true and often times very confusing and deceptive to children (and even to some grown ups). Jesus, the Son of God, died only once and the reason for his death on the cross of Calvary is to save us all. Jesus cannot be put into death again and again for the reason that he had already conquered death a long time ago when he resurrected from the grave on the third day after his death. Let us all erase this misconception from our kids' minds and likewise from ours too. Instead, let us implant into their hearts and minds that Jesus died thousands of years ago just to give us the chance to live forever.

Cold Mountain

2009-04-07T01:31:00.017+08:00

The first time I came across with Cold Mountain by Charles Frazier, it was on the big screen. I watched the movie because I am a big fan of Nicole Kidman and Rene Zelweger. I find the movie good and the two mentioned actresses and Jude Law very convincing in portraying their characters. At the end, the movie made me melancholic and sad, but hell, it was really beautiful. Rene by the way, won her first Oscar as best actress in a supporting role for that movie.

The second time I came across with Cold Mountain was when I was looking for second hand books to be read at night, to drowse me to sleep, at a local bookstore. The book was sold cheap and since I already saw it's movie version, I bought it out of curiosity if the screen adaptation really tried to stick to the novel. And so it started every night, since I only read two or three chapters a night, that the lives of Inman, Ada and Ruby were unfold not in my eyes but in my imagination.

The setting of Cold Mountain was very rural and Frazier was very successful in conjuring the rural mood in his novel. The tall mountains, the lovely meadows, the lonely dirt roads, the slithering rivers, the vast farm fields, the mysterious twilight, and the plain folks and their traditional way of life all gave me the feeling of profound simplicity and serenity. But these was of course abstracted by the ongoing civil war happening in the land which added a feeling of anxiety and uneasiness both I think on the characters (especially Inman who was always haunted by the war scene he had witnessed) and the reader himself (I am talking about myself particularly).

Inman's travel toward home was like a metaphor of my own pilgrim towards self realization. The dangers he met along the way and the obstacles that tried to block him from returning home are like my struggles and battles that until now I still try to overcome. The gore and bloody wars he encountered are like my past that still haunts me to this very day. Inman's thought were focused on his beloved Ada, that is why, his determination to go on with life and his journey was so strong that only death could stop him. Likewise with myself, my determination of making myself whole and fulfilling my fate is what keeps me moving forward with positivity.

Ada and Ruby, the heroines of the story, were two opposite characters. Ada was educated and literate, Ruby was not. Ruby was a self-reliant, hardworking, and practical gal, Ada was otherwise. Ada was the artist, Ruby was the one who appreciates. Ada was sophisticated while Ruby was superstitious. The contrast between the two main female characters of the novel was quite obvious but it was amazing that the two were able to live together in harmony, supporting each other in the name of survival. Same so with ourselves, sometimes we contradict our very own selves that often confuse us. But then again, in the end, these contradictions inside us meet half way to come up with one unique idea, thought or opinion. And whatever ever it is, it is who we are. All in the name of self-preservation and realization.

Cold Mountain speaks about love lost, friendship, and the determination of the human soul. All in all, it was a very delightful read. Very poignant yet a masterpiece of beauty. I tried not to shed a tear up to the very end but unfortunately, I did.

A Nation Of Servants

2009-04-02T08:25:00.016+08:00

Yeheeey! I passed my Pathophysiology and Nursing Care Mangement subject! All my fears are finally obliterated to dust! Thank you Lord. One more year and hopefully I'll be able to finish my schooling.

-oOo-

Just this week, Filipinos were enraged upon reading an article written by a Chinese journalist in a local magazine in Hong Kong that "maliciously" branded our country as a nation of servants and indirectly, a land grabber. Like the others, I was also infuriated by the harsh and discriminatory statement of the writer because first, Filipinos, especially our OFWs have a big contribution to the economy of the place (Hong Kong) and I am referring not just those domestic helpers but those skilled and professional Filipinos working in big companies there. Second, Chip Tsao (that's the name of the writer), have no right to call us indirectly as a "land grabber" because they ,the government of China, have not yet proven that the Spratly Islands really belong to them . Every neighboring countries (i.e. Vietnam and Malaysia) near the group of islands can claim it as their own since Spratly is geographically situated "between" these countries. And I think, unless the dispute about the different claims is settled, everyone can still insist that Spratly is their's.

On the other hand, this incident, the "mocking" of the Filipino race, is again a wake up call for the public leaders of this country to do something about the flight of our brothers and sisters into other countries just to find greener pasture for survival. It is time for our leaders to stop politicizing and instead, do their jobs by focusing more on finding ways to generate jobs here in our country so that the sending of our fellowmen to work for aliens will be put to a stop . And again, we must do something against poverty for this is the main cause why Filipinos opted to work as domestic helpers abroad (and often get mistreated) rather than die here because of hunger. It is a sad fact that we still rely greatly on the economy of others just to make our fragile economy survive. We can say that Chip Tsao is such a mean and arrogant person, a racist, and an idiot for the statements he wrote about us. But can we blame him totally for it? Don't you think that we have a part of this too for this is the image we try to impress on them? If we will not start acting today, doing things that will help alleviate poverty here in our country and not just by mere lip service, we will remain still as a people trying to serve others for compensation and survival and as a "nation of servants" in the eyes of the rest of the world.

What If's

2009-03-11T19:54:00.010+08:00

What if Snow White wasn't really a super smooth, super fair-skinned maiden but a woman suffering from albinism and psoriasis?

What if the Seven Dwarves were not actually the dwarves we know in fairy tales or mythologies but some men suffering from pituitary gland malfunctioning?

What if Sleeping Beauty wasn't really in a stupor because of a witch's curse but in a coma after she accidentally stepped on a bar of soap on the bathroom floor, slid, and bumped her head on the wall?

What if Cinderella wasn't really the owner of the glass slippers but just claimed them as her own because she wanted to marry the prince so badly to instantly get rich?

What if Rapunzel's hair were not really that naturally ultra long but just mere fake extensions done in a salon just to impress the prince and lure him to her tower so that she could have some kinky moments with him?

What if Humpty Dumpty's fall was purposely done by his bestfriend because the latter got jealous after learning that his name wasn't included in the famous nursery rhyme?

What if Jack's magical beans were not really magical but some sort of mutated peas genetically modified by visiting alien lifeforms from Mars?

What if Little Mermaid's loss of voice wasn't really the sea witch's doing but a result of laryngeal cancer due to excessive and chronic smoking of an illegal seaweed?

What if Hansel and Gretel were really spoiled brats and that after eating the old hag's candy house pushed the poor old woman on the boiling cauldron and spreaded the news that she's a cannibal so that their mischief would not be discovered?

What if Rumpelstiltskin wasn't really interested in the Queen's baby but just suffering from attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder?

What if Little Red Riding Hood's grandma wasn't really swallowed by the wolf but that grandma was the wolf herself because she possess the ability of lycantrophy?

What if I'll just go to the kitchen right now and fix myself a supper so that my brain cells will stop disintegrating totally and stop all these delusional inquiries?

Yeah, I think I better should.

Email Metaphor

2009-03-08T17:08:00.012+08:00

My first email, I created it when I was 18, was jimlynx@another.com. The name was the combination of my nickname "Jim" and of "Lynx" which is a specie of a wild ferocious cat and happens to be my codename when I was an officer of the Citizen Army Training (CAT) during my last year in high school. I kind of like the combination of the two because it represented my shy and covert personality; and the sleeping ferocious "inner me" which is ambitious, idealistic, tough, self-determined, and bold. I used it since then and eventually got tired of it when I entered my early twenties.

The next email I created and use for my fancy was when I reached twenty. The email was lestat(with numbers attached but sadly I have forgotten it)@yahoo.com. My "young adult" life was very turbulent at that time. I was starting to ask for the purpose of my existence at that point in my life and the "meaninglessness" of life ended by death suddenly had an impact on me that I suffered mild depression. It was also during that moment that I read Anne Rice's Vampire Chronicles and the fictional character of the protagonist/villain Lestat charmed me that I used his name as a pseudonym for countless times before. Why? Beacuse I felt that we were the same during that time --- a philosopher, rebel, wanderer, heretic, and yes, a stupid brat.

I was 24 when I created my third email, van_helsing1980@yahoo.com. From vampire to vampire slayer email! Whew! The possible reason for this change was that I am done with my rebellion against the world, so now it's time to confront myself and ask the questions: "Who are you? Why are you still here? What is it that you really want?" It was like a war waged against my own self because the real me tried to evade this reality check questions. The real me during that time didn't want to get out from his comfort zone of surreal sphere. But it was time to face fate and so war happened and the sphere of fantasy was destroyed. Eventually, Van Helsing the slayer, killed Lestat the vampire in the end.

rbmacarse@yahoo.com, my current email add. This is the real me. The man that is now willing to face his destiny, whatever it is, with a courageous heart and an unshaken soul.

There you go, the evolution of my email address and the evolution of me. I never thought my emails and my personality has something to do with each other, not until I wrote this entry. Pretty deep huh? Ha ha ha...

P.S. I have an alternate email too that I forgot to mention that I am also using right now. It's ieremor_esracam@yahoo.com. It is still me, the only difference is that it's the "twisted me". Bwa ha ha ha... Ciao!

A Random Thought From A Nursing Student

2009-02-27T21:37:00.010+08:00

I want to become a nurse someday, not just for the mere prospect of working abroad and earn dollars or euros but of course to serve humanity. "To serve humanity," a very cliche phrase that usually raises the eyebrows of others upon hearing this as a reason why one is taking up nursing. It's hypocrisy according to them because who in his or her right mind would invest thousands and thousands of money for nursing education just to end up wiping other people's drooling saliva? It may be true to some but this notion is totally unfair for those who really have the compassion and the sincerity to help and serve his/her fellow men.

It is quite sad to think that people nowadays view the nursing profession as a mere gateway for a greener pasture. The white cap nurses are wearing is now equated to the dollar sign. And it is more saddening to think that nursing education is very expensive in our present time that those who truly possess the innate quality of a genuine nurse cannot afford to be educated and thus establish themselves in this niche. That is why it is not surprising that one will encounter grumpy, snobbish, and unapproachable nurses in every hospital. I call them as pseudo-nurses in which they do have all the nursing knowledge swirling in their brains but do not have the true compassion and love for the unfortunates stirring in their heart. They could afford nursing education, but they couldn't buy the nursing spirit. I see them most of the time as I have my duty in clinical areas and it irritates me to see them destroying the integrity of this noble profession which was founded by the selfless progenitors of nursing.

Lastly, let us not forget that the core foundation of nursing is to care and heal the sick, and uphold and protect the human dignity even in the face of death. So for once, let us nurses and soon-to-be nurses act like one.

Beep! Beep!: The Jeepney Experience

2009-01-24T14:21:00.010+08:00

Public Use Jeepney (PUJ) or simply known as dyip has been one of the national symbols of our country. For decades, after the American occupation era, the dyip has been an important means of transportation for Filipinos especially the masa, both in rural and urban places. The left-over of the US Military jeeps were transformed into flashy vehicles ready for public use and has now become our identity and part of our culture. As a Filipino myself, I couldn't imagine life here in the Philippines nowadays without the jeepneys. It seems like everything here in this country would stop, from education to economy, if all jeepneys would be eradicated from the streets.

I always ride on a jeepney when going to the city of Iloilo from my humble town Maasin especially on school days. Commuting on a dyip will give you a lot of experiences. Some of them are funny, some of them are exhilirating, some are irritating, and some are just plain boring.

During school season, I often don't get enough sleep for the reason that I study, make my assignments, and take some notes until early dawn (very diligent huh? lol). Because of this, I often make jeepneys as my siesta cribs until it take me to my destination. There was a time when I was too sleepy and my consciousness was starting to dispersed into oblivion when I unconciously banged my head to the head of the commuter next to me. I was so ashmed of the incident that I pretended that I was still sleeping even though at that time I was already fully awake. The picture that I saw in my mind at that very moment was that all eyes were looking at me especially the searing eyes of the person in which I bumped my head into. I was sweating but I really didn't care much, because I was pretty occupied acting sleeping.

There was also this one instance in which I took a nap while commuting and later, I suddenly woke up and catched my mouth open while the other passenger sitting across me was staring at me as if wanting to throw something on my half-gaped mouth. Again, to save myself from further embarassment, I just closed my mouth and pretended to be asleep again which of course I was not. I realized from then on that acting sleeping was not an easy task.

I really hate women with long hair who doesn't know how to keep them sitting ahead of me in a jeepney. The ordeal of a hair slapping at your face for 45 minutes (that's how long it takes to travel from my town to the city) is unbearable and I have experienced it several times already and it always makes my face red like a tomato. To deal with this matter, I usually ask the woman to keep her hair because if not, my vicious killer instinct would surely "unhair" her head, making her like Sigourney Weaver in Alien movies. How I love to play the extraterrestrial creature's part!

If there is one thing I really couldn't forget riding a jeepney, that is everytime it will speed up like rocket (that it will make your hair stand up to the tip!) and the driver is a reckless daredevil. The scary part is when it overtakes a vehicle with super speed and you'll see that another vehicle is fast approaching your way. One thing for sure: you would surely pray hard for your dear life especially when it happens that you are sitting in the front seat. A dear friend of mine once told me that the difference between a priest and a reckless driver is that everytime a priest delivers his sermon, people get drowsy and eventually sleep on their pews. Meanwhile, a reckless driver when driving fast (like a trip bound to hell), could effortlessly make his passengers call all the saints and angels in heaven like Armagedon is at hand! How ironic but true.

If ever there will come a time that I will leave this beloved country of mine for a reason I still don't know, jeepneys and the experience of riding these unique vehicles will surely a miss for me. You can never say "Para!" to taxis in New York anyway.

My Life

2009-01-22T22:05:00.005+08:00

What would my life be without coffee?

It would be a life in a state of comatose.

What would my life be without music?

Dull and boring. Deaf. Catatonic.

What would my life be without books?

Somber. Dismal.

What would my life be without movies?

Problematic.

What would my life be without my studies?

Hopeless.

What would my life be without the problems and trials that come my way?

It's like watching a dull movie for eternity.

What would my life be without my enemies and detractors?

Weak and fragile. No drama!

What would my life be without my friends?

Miserable, sad, uneventful.

What would my life be without my siblings?

It's like a scattered jigsaw puzzle.

What would be my life without nanay?

A total void. Nothing.

Maasin

2009-01-10T20:44:00.003+08:00

Many times have I been too far away from my hometown Maasin for a very long period of time and the memory of my beloved place always haunted me during those moments. Maasin, like Cagayan de Oro City (the place where I spent most of my childhood years), holds a very special spot in my heart, maybe because a lot of precious memories have I created in the said place. Life in Maasin is very simple and yet the things that I, or we Maasinanons (that's what we call ourselves), often do and see here are the things we really miss the most whenever we get too far away from our dear hometown. Things like...

Jogging in the morning and strolling in the afternoon around the plaza....

The statues of Andres Bonifacio and the soldier at the center of the poblacion...

Swimming in the muddy river...

The Town Fiesta...

The Tultugan Festival...

Taking a bath using the "bomba" or the hand water pump...

The noisy bustling during market day every Monday...

The shits of dogs that often greet you when walking along the narrow streets early in the morning...

The bamboos...

The carabaos...

Our family roots...

The flood during typhoons...

The fountain with the bust of a fish that only spills water from its mouth during special occasions (like fiesta, Christmas, New Year)...

Riding "trisikads"...

Drunkard neighbors...

Blue Fields...

Eating batchoy and pizza at Janken...

Squating at the sidewalk at night underneath the lampost, texting...

The "kadyos" and "monggo" dishes...

Going to the congested cemetary during All Souls Day...

Diving in the dam...

An of course, our dear friends, classmates, barkadas, and other acquaintances...

I know that there might be a possibility in the future that I will be once again taken away from my hometown because we never know what fate has instore for us, but I know that I will always come back from time to time to Maasin for the place has become a part of person, a part of my identity.

The Statue of Andres Bonifacio at the Poblacion Plaza and the Municipal Hall

The fountain with the fish bust

The Poblacion Public Market

One of the narrow streets of Maasin

The Murderer

2009-01-04T16:50:00.005+08:00

Of all creatures in the animal kingdom, the cockroach is the only one that could awaken my killer instinct which I tried to repress deep in my subconscious mind. I have a lot of reasons why I love to assassinate cockroaches and to enumerate them here would mean that I have to glue my ass for an hour in the chair. But I think the two main reasons why I am so inhumane towards "cockroachkind" are the following --- First, they definitely look ummm... scary, like some loathsome extraterrestrial lifeforms crawling on your wall ready to launch at your face anytime and squirt at you that stinking smell that can make your stomach turn inside out (ews!). Second, because they carry germs! Remember that these filthy creatures feed, live, and crawl on decaying matters and it has been reported that they spread at least 33 kinds of bacteria, six kinds of parasitic worms, and at least seven other kinds of human pathogens. Think about that!

So every time I see a cockroach, any object at hand (usually a slipper or a broom) will serve as my weapon of destruction. Then..... SPLAT! End of his existence.

One time, I saw a cockroach and yes, I exterminate it. The action was like automatic and involuntary that seconds after I saw the filthy thing crawling on the floor, I just beheld it before me, squashed.

Unknown to me, my cousin saw at that time the thing that I had done to the insect. When she approached me, she asked, "Do you believe in reincarnation?"

"I don't know," my only answer.

"Ok, supposing that reincarnation is true, there is a possibility that that cockroach you killed is our very own grandma," she told me like someone who knows all the secret knowledge of the universe.

I looked back to the spot where the dead insect lied. My cousin did the same. Then, absent-mindedly I uttered: "Oh my God, I just murdered Lola Soting..."

The Seven Deadly Sins

2009-01-02T04:08:00.008+08:00

My dear brothers and sisters, I exhort to you all to avoid these seven deadly sins that will corrupt your souls and will consume you to the eternal blazing fire of hell.....

LUXURIA or LUST. Avoid craving for those FHMs, Maxims, and Playboys! If you really can't avoid reading them, then read them with eyes closed.

GULA or GLUTTONY. Avoid eating too much imported foods especially those coming from China. Some of them (and you'll never know which) contains melamine and formaldehyde which will hasten your laying down to your coffin!

AVARITIA or GREED. Greed my dear brethrens is like lust and gluttony, a sin of excess accumulation of power. Now texting is a power too to communicate, but sometimes too much texting is.... costly and can cause carpal tunnel syndrome. Now I know (and you know too) what's the relationship with a costly vice to greed, but with carpal tunnel syndrome? I really don't have an idea.

ACEDIA or SLOTH. To all my dear friends, please do reply to my text messages if you have loads (and don't you guys dare lie that you don't have! Grrrr...) or else I can accuse you of being lazy bones and then the wrath of heaven will smite your cheeks and crush your teeth to dusts!

IRA or WRATH. My dear teachers and clinical instructors, please don't let your anger consume you if I am always late in your classes and clinical duties. You don't want to be barbecued in hell, don't you?

INVIDIA or ENVY. Do not envy Marian Rivera's sexy body; Angel Locsin's long, straight, shiny hair; Toni Gonzaga's pearly white teeth; Katrina Halili's prominent nose; and Keana Reeves' oversized boobs because the creation of these were all costly (you know what I mean) likewise their maintenance... and unfortunately you don't have the money. What I am trying to say is, stop watching too much television and reading too much showbiz oriented magazines. Aside from saving electricity consumption, you might also save some money for silicon later.

SUPERBIA or PRIDE. Some say that we must swallow our pride but in my case, I digest them..... And until now I still suffer from constipation. But brethrens you choose, constipation or damnation?

Be guided, be enlightened. Amen.

2009 And The Jigsaw Puzzle Pieces

2009-01-01T05:21:00.001+08:00

It’s already 5 hours passed the new year and I am still here facing the computer. I cannot sleep. Maybe due to drinking of too much Coke… Or maybe I just can’t believe until now that it is already 2009. Well anyway, I am very glad that another year had passed and I am still healthy, kicking, and alive. And yes, very very blessed. I thank God for all the things that had happened to me last 2008 because it was such a wonderful year for me amidst of all the trials and testings and I give him all the glory for that.

I know this year will also be a beautiful and bountiful year for me. How do I know? Well, God said believe in the things that you want to happen and it will come true. That’s what faith is all about — believing in things not yet seen. So again, I am claiming this year as a prosperous year for me! Amen.

The entry of 2009 marks a new chapter in my life. I am already excited of what will going to happen next. It is like watching a soap opera. The only thing I am asking is that may God give me the strength to face all the tests (and defeats) that I will be encountering this year, the thankful heart that will anchor my feet to the ground despite of all the overwhelming victories, and the wisdom to know what is good and what is right.

My new year’s resolution for this year is still the same as last year and that is, “I shall make a better me.” The only difference this time is that I am doing it not just for myself but also for the others. 2008 made me realized that in order to complete one’s jigsaw puzzle, one must find the missing pieces on others. I am starting to find it now.

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE AND CONTINUE TO SPREAD LOVE AND UNITY!

Happy Fiesta

2008-12-30T10:08:00.007+08:00

Fiesta, the time for heaps and heaps of delicious foods and overflowing drinks and liquors. Everybody during this time just want to be full, drunk, and be merry. It has been a long tradition for Filipinos to celebrate the feast of either their patron saints or the foundation of their hometowns or baranggays, and no matter how bad the economy crisis is, Filipinos still find ways just to have a decent or even flamboyant celebration of their fiestas and that includes borrowing money from others. As what the old folks here often say, "One day of enjoyment, one year of torment." This saying often makes me laugh but I find it true. I know a lot of families here in our place having a hard time finding solutions to pay their debts after fiestas. That's how life balances everything here in the Philippines.

Fiestas are also moments where in cholesterol and alcohol levels soar up to the maximum but most of the time, a hypertensive like me couldn't really help but to munch on those enticing greasy and carbohydrate-rich food. Yeah, I know it's bad for me but should I just look at them drooling and torturing myself? As my former teacher in anatomy and physiology subject in college once said: "It doesn't matter if you die early as long as you die happy, smiling in your coffin." Well, maybe she's right but the last part, I have a doubt about it because until now, I have never seen a smiling corpse.

I know that we Filipinos need some time even just once a year to be jovial just to forget for a short moment all the problems our unfortunate third world country is facing, but sometimes I wonder if fiestas could really be a good instrument for this purpose or just another problem-producing event both for our pocket and for our health? Just asking.

Anyway, happy annual fiesta to my beloved hometown Maasin! And advance happy new year too! Let us look forward for a brighter life next year. God bless us all.

The Ultra-Amazing Super Jim

2008-12-26T22:36:00.016+08:00

For years I have kept this secret in the deepest recesses of my soul. No breathing thing on this planet have I ever confided it for the reason that I wanted to protect those people I love from the curse of this secret. But unless I bare myself to the world, I will be forever caged in this clandestine that is starting to swallow my being. And so I decided, that it is now the ripe time for me to reveal this secret to all. The secret that yours truly is.......

................... none other than the ultra-amazing SUPER JIM!!! (Kabooooommmm!!!)

Yes dear friends, I am a superhero. And not just your typical superhero because I don't just stop a train that has lost control, or save a baby from a burning apartment building, or help an old woman get back her snatched purse from the filthy scoundrel, but I also do special things that will complete your day.

-oOo-

Are you having problem with those "medusas"? I am referring to those women who sit beside you in public use jeepnies and let their long unkempt dry hair slap your face while the PUJ takes speed to the point that your face reddens like that of a tomato? Well, have no fear, or should I say don't get mad, because SUPER JIM is here!

If I am in a good mood, I'll just talk with that woman in a nice way and ask her, "Excuse me miss, your hair have been slapping this person's face for almost a time now. And your shampoo doesn't even smell good, not to mention those split ends that are pricking his/her face like barb wires. So could you please, for the salvation of the whole world and your poor soul, keep your hair away from his/her visage?"

Now if I'm in a bad mood, I'll say nothing 'cause I'll just tie those hair without her knowing it, to the hand rail of the jeepney. There, that will keep those hair in place and eventually, the owner too! Har har har...

-oOo-

You're queuing in a long line for the ATM machine when suddenly, an impertinent moron from out of nowhere enters the queue ahead of you. You and the rest of those poor people lining after you are infuriated with this arrogant move to the point that your blood boils like a lava. Cool yourself, SUPER JIM comes to the rescue!

If I'm in a good mood, I'll just approach that person, look at him/her directly in the eye and ask whether he/she have had a Values Education subject before. If he/she will answer "yes", then I'll just remind him/her of the phrase that even my preschool cousin knows by heart that our values education teachers kept on repeating when we were still kids and that is: "Fall in line and wait for your turn!" If he/she will say "no" then I'll be glad to offer him my free good etiquette tutorial service. If ever he/she will answer "I forgot", God forbid me but I will just hit him/her in the face then I'll just said "Oops, I forgot my right manners and proper conduct. Sorry..."

Now, If I'm in a bad mood, I'll just step hard on whichever foot of his/her, and then push him/her on the side as he/she whimpers from pain. Then I'll just stand still as if nothing happened. If he/she will fight back, then it's time to use my Karate skills. Hiyaaaa..... If not, I'll just ignore the moron.

-oOo-

You see, your superhero here can do more aside from those things mentioned above. All you've got to do is shout for my name, as in shout to the point that your throat vibrates and dehydrates, and I will be surely there to help you. Don't worry, my service is free of charge, but I would say no if you'll offer me a cup of coffee and a pizza as a gratitude for my goodness. He he he...

Wait... I hear someone screaming my name for help. I think I'll just leave you here for the meantime my avid followers. I've got some saving to do. And by the way, before I go, for the sake of protecting my private life against those paparazzi, please lets keep this as a secret, okay? Thank you ever dearest confidants.

Up up and away!!!!!!

Christmas Lost, Christmas Redeemed

2008-12-24T14:22:00.010+08:00

When I was small, Christmas was one of my favorite occasions every year aside of course from my birthday. The presents, the blinking lights, the cold breeze, the food, the jingles, and yes, the festive mood, all of this gave me the feeling of innocent bliss. And since Christmas only comes once a year, the long wait always added a feeling of thrill in me.

As I grew up, the spell that used to mesmerize me about Christmas started to wane. I think it all started with the onset of financial problems in our family that limited us from having a celebration that was well, fit for Christmas. You know, the kind of celebration kids always thought about -- lots of foods and gifts. I think during that time, that was during my elementary years, my parents were having a hard time with money due to hospitalization after hospitalization of my younger siblings. Christmas during those years were quite sad and cold because not even a simple lantern hanged on our house's front window.

The other thing that made me lost my interest in Christmas was upon learning that Santa Claus doesn't really exist. For years I had been living in the fantasy that Santa makes a list of little boys and girls' names all over the world and that he's checking it twice as what a certain Christmas jingle says so that those who have been good for the rest of the year will receive a gift from him. I thought that the Santa (should I put an "s" on the last letter?) that I always see in department stores during yuletide season waiting for kids to ask him for a picture taking was real. I later found out that that Santa was just for commercial promotion and that he worked as a security guard on the other days. Frustrating it was for me to learn the truth that the old stout man with immaculate beard and mustache and wearing red suit while saying "ho ho ho!" on his sleight pulled by flying reindeers was just a creation of adults' creative mind. But those were childhood days, innocence was still pure and undefiled. Days were we could be easily convinced about fantastical things without evidences. Sometimes I'd rather wish I just stayed that way, believing easily in things that were really fiction, rather than be awaken to the harsh and cruel reality of this world.

Lately, I joined our college's community extension service program and my first exposure to the community we are supporting was when we had our gift giving activity and medical mission for the indigents in that area. They say that Christmas time is a time for sharing because God himself gave his only begotten Son to us, Jesus Christ, in order to save the whole humanity. Well, The Nativity was really a beautiful story but I didn't get the real essence of it not until we went to Brgy. Tanao, Batad for the said activities I mentioned. It was the first time I did some humanitarian act and yes, it was a wonderful experience. I just want to emphasize on the thing about "sharing". I learned that to share not what you abundantly have but the one you have little of was amazing. It made me feel that a part of me went to the thing I shared and that part of me lifted that receiver's spirit because of the genuine smile I beheld on his/her face. Now I know what Jesus felt when he gave himself to us and with that, a new "magic" suddenly enchanted me about Christmas. It is the magic of self-giving, of unselfishness, of genuine fraternal love. I lost my faith on Christmas when I was kid, now Christmas has redeemed itself to me.

Merry Christmas everyone and let us continue to spread peace, love, and joy to the whole world! God bless us all.

-oOo-

"God, bless this food..."

Chibugan Time

Simple Christmas With Family & Relatives

My Cousins

The Reverse Effect

2008-12-23T14:50:00.018+08:00

Last December 20, I went to Brgy. Tanao, Batad together with my fellow UICN-CES volunteers for our medical mission and gift giving activities. I decided to go there despite of the gloomy weather and the almost 3-hours travel for the "grand humanitarian purpose" that I will be able to touch and change other people's lives for the better. You know, the "hero thing" (and I have found out that we could! That is, if we will just do it).

When we reached our place of destination, I was very excited to start as soon as possible our first activity that I was able to consume 4 cups of chicken vermicelli soup and 6 pieces of pan de leche which was served to us by the locals there. I didn't even mind my tiredness from the three hours of travel! The warmth and congeniality of the people of Brgy. Tanao and the beautiful landscape of the place which was hilly on the other side and the sea and an island on the other (the island is still a part of the barangay) was enough to erase my fatigue.

And so the activity started. On that afternoon, the locals of Brgy. Tanao, especially the indigents, coming from the different far flanged sitios arrived. I could see that some of the indigents could not afford to buy at least cheap decent clothes basing on the faded and tattered clothes they wore. Some even walked the muddy road in going to the barangay's plaza where our gift giving program was held barefooted. A realization dawned upon me during that time that I am indeed far more blessed compared to these people. And it also made me feel guilty why I always complained of some petty things like not having a load for my cellphone or not having been into the cinema and watch a blockbuster movie for almost three months. Why am I giving importance to these irrelevants things when a lot of people doesn't even have a scoop of rice to eat? I suddenly asked myself indignantly.

During our gift giving, most of the recipients wore a big smile on their faces. Others even danced out of sheer joy upon receiving their packages. A few cried out of gratitude. The scene was very touching that it suddenly changed my perspectives in life.

On the second day of our stay there, we had our medical mission. The situation was still the same as that of the first day, people flooded hoping that they could avail of the free medical check up and likewise medicines for their illnesses. Everybody was wishing to be called first for the free check up afraid that they might not be called until the doctors will leave in the afternoon. Such an overwhelming effect of poverty I must say. Very saddening.

My trip to Brgy. Tanao, Batad was life-changing on my part. I went there on the purpose, as what I have stated earlier, to touch other people's lives. But in my stay there, something I didn't expect happened to me. That is, the people there touched my life also in a grand scale. The Batad exprience taught me that life is meaningless unless you share it with others. I never knew that a reverse effect would take place while I was there! I was..... amazed.

-oOo-

P.S. Oh by the way, I really enjoyed our caroling moments there...

...and I miss the linugaw...

... and of course the gang!

God Bless!

Batad, Here I Come!

2008-12-19T13:29:00.004+08:00

I'm going to Brgy. Tanao, Batad, Iloilo tomorrow for our medical mission and gift giving activity for the indigenous people of the said place. This is a actually a yearly activity of the University of Iloilo College of Nursing - Community Extension Service Program.

I applied to become a volunteer of CES last semester, and luckily I was accepted, so that I may be able to help in my own simple way those people in depressed areas who are unfortunate enough to have at least a comfortable way of living. This is my way of expressing my deep gratitude to God for blessing me with more than enough. This is also my way of stirring a revolution to change this hatred-driven world which is the revolution of love. Very grand yet possible. I know, I could be a channel of God's love and care. We can.

I'll be packing my things a moment from now then I'll head for Iloilo City. Our departure for Batad will be at 4 o'clock tomorrow. Batad, here I come! And may God bless our trip and activities there. Amen.

P.S. An article related to this titled Destination Batad was posted by yours truly on my other blog, wildnurse.blogspot.com, so kindly check it out. Thanks and God bless! Mwah.

Less-Human Trying To Be More Human, At Least

2008-12-19T01:50:00.006+08:00

Vacation time! Thank God! And thank God too 'cause Christmas is fast approaching. I am looking forward not for the gifts (ows?) but for the ample time that I will be able to spend with my family. I miss home even though I go here every weekend. It is my sanctuary from all the chaotic stirring of the city. There is no place like home. And what about the world outside it? It's nothing but a vast jungle roamed mostly by less-humans.

-oOo-

Yesterday afternoon, yours truly, together with my UICN Community Extension Service (CES) gang had our packaging activities of the goods to be distributed to the indigents of Batad, Iloilo for the gift giving activity of CES this Christmas season. We had fun and it really felt good to know that all our efforts, from solicitation of goods to segregation and transportation, will not be wasted because we know that these will benefit our unfortunate brothers and sisters in Batad espcially those living in the remote areas who cannot even afford to buy at least one kilo of rice everyday for their food.

Lately I learned that the best way to make ourselves really feel good is to think less of ourselves and more on how to alleviate the sufferings of others. And I learned too that this doesn't only make us feel good, it also makes us more human, at least.

From Rockstar to Nurse

2008-12-10T16:33:00.005+08:00

Man, I couldn't believe I sang last December 5 in the duet competition for our College of Nursing Foundation Day. It was like, I don't know how to describe it. Ha ha ha... All I know is that I stupidly accepted the request of our council to do it. I can sing ummmm... fair but not that great so it was like a suicide when I accepted the "challenge". But on the other hand, I want to experience and explore new things that will enrich my life so I think the better time to start it is now -- the time of my life when I am still young, bold, and boosting with energy!

When I was kid, I dreamed of becoming a rock star or even just a not-so-famous recording artist when I grow up. I don't know what happened to that dream because I just woke up one day pursuing the path of the nursing profession. But even though I already plunged into the pool of medical field, the child within me who wants to become a rock star someday still "possesses" me from time to time and I know he won't rest until I give him what he wants. So I last December 5, I gave him what he wanted which was a 10 minutes of performing on stage and the claps he wanted to hear from the audience.

On the day of the competition I was really scared to the max! I feared that my strained voice would give up on the middle of the song and that I might get off key and wouldn't be able to blend with my singing partner Ceelina and mess the whole thing! It would be a nightmare that instead of claps I, or we, might get "boos" instead. The fear of rejection.

So I tried to shake off my fears on that final moment, built my confidence, and tried to perform without reservations. I tried not to mind the good performances of the other competing couples because I might compare myself to them and would only create a feeling of inferiority in me. Wow, after our performance ended, I couldn't believe that I made it through. Our performance was not that great but I must say, pardon me if I sound bias, that it was good. And yes, the audience clapped and I know that in that moment blood rushed to my face. Ha ha ha...

We won the second place and for me, it was more than enough. Not bad for a first timers like us, what do you think huh? Anyways, the experience was great and I learned that fear is the only thing that holds us back from the things that we wanted to do in life. Things that if not fulfilled, we may keep on asking ourselves later "What if?"

To the child within me: I hope that the ten minute limelight exposure on stage will pacify you. I hope too that you will understand that although entertaining people is a good thing, healing them is far more better. From rockstar to nurse.....

P.S. To Ceelina: Thank you! To Anne, Rena Joy, & Rio: Congratutalations!

Hey!

2008-12-08T20:03:00.002+08:00

Nursing Day Celebration is over. Thank God! I had a lot of things to tell you, experiences I had during the celebration but my body and my mind are until now still exhausted. I need to have enough sleep. I need to regenerate my cells first. Got to go. Bye. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.....

Of Books, Chest Pain, & Death

2008-11-23T01:19:00.005+08:00

Back to school. My books and I are reunited once gain. I miss them and I know they miss me too especially the intimate moments we shared together in the wee hours of the morning with them opened and yours truly sleeping. Ha ha ha... But now, we have plenty of time again for bonding and ummm... sleeping together? lol!

Ok, let's put aside books as of the moment because I am eager right now to talk about the pain (as in literal pain!) I am experiencing in my left chest which sometimes radiates to my left arm. I want to talk about it because I am deeply troubled. You see this pain in my chest started to occur in coincidence with the discussion of our topic in Nursing Care Management regarding cardiovascular diseases and their management. It made me frantic! Could this be angina pectoris, myocardial infarction, or much worst than that!

I've tried to listen to the sounds of my heart with my stethoscope and since I am not yet an expert in distinguishing normal from abnormal sounds, the swishing, thumping, murmuring, gushing, or whatever made me even more paranoid! Oh my God, I am too young to die, I told myself.

Dying, why are most people afraid of it? Even I have a foreboding feeling about it sometimes although me and my classmates sometimes made a joke about it. Maybe it is just the fact that we don't know what happens next after dying. No one returns from the grave after a year of being dead and told us what is it like on the after life. I guess this where the role of the Bible enters. It gives us insights and hope about new life after death. Now I don't care if other people doesn't believe in what the Bible is saying especially on the aspect of life after death. As long that it gives me something to hold on to when my time has come to lie on the death bed, a promise to look forward to when my mortal body starts to give up, that's only thing that matters to me most. It is because it erases my fear of death and thus gives me the inspiration to live life to the fullest.

Wow, I just realized that this entry has jumped from one topic to another! From books, to chest pain, to death. Talking about random thoughts from my gray matter!